Thanksgiving and prayers.

Dear friends,

Thank you for your prayer support so far. I am very grateful that when I'm too tired to pray long prayers at the end of some days, that someone has me covered. I have some news and some more prayer requests for this update, but I'll keep this short because it's been a busy fortnight and I haven't had time to formulate my thoughts yet.

The good news is: Pui Yee has decided to let me stay on for another 10 months, so together with my first two months here, I'll have a year's work at HOLF.

The prayer requests are as follows:

1. Wing Kit had some cramps and spasms today, so please pray that it's only from fatigue, and that it's nothing serious. He's been very aggitated and unhappy because of it, I hope it passes by soon, and he can be his healthy self again. Pui Yee also received a few injuries this week from falling, please pray for her healing.

2. My family is moving, and I only have this Sunday left to pack, so pray that I can pack on time, so that my family doesn't have to finish up for me. And pray that the move will go smoothly and nothing will be damaged or will go missing. Also pray for the renovations on the house, and give the workmen clarity in mind and energy and focus, so that they can fix our house up to last another few decades.

3. Pray for my health as I continue my work at HOLF, and also pray for my future, as I continue to seek God's will about it. Also pray for my financial situation, I'm still short by quite a bit, so pray that God will provide and that I will recognise it when He does.

4. Also give thanks that things are going smoothly at HOLF, and all the kids are quite healthy, and Tung Tung is very joyful, blessed and loved, as with all the other kids too. And also, there's been some opportunities to witness to non-believers, and that has been going great. With much thanks to The Jesus I Never Knew, and Holy Conversation.

That's it for now, dear friends. Thank you again for your time, love and prayers.

God bless,

James

Nobody.

When Jesus came into this world, He didn't come as a He, but only as an it. A tiny embryo that was destined to become a baby born in a manger in the middle of nowhere.

If there is ever a humble God, our God would be it. When His incarnation came to this world, he came alone. He grew up in Nazareth, which is a tiny village in the outskirts of Israel, where the lowly and very under-privileged lived. It was a ghetto, as his countrymen would put it, "Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?" He grew up with people with no power, no wealth, no rights, no existence.. himself being one of them.

God knew the meaning of humility when He sent Jesus to this world.. to live in it, and to save by it. Humility in Jesus is the best witness of God's Grace. Jesus came from the humblest background, he was a nobody. The only reason why he's famous is because he fulfilled God's plan for him. He was the lamb for the slaughter, and it was the slaughter that had been famous and the lamb because of it. Noone remembers Jesus' face, there aren't any portraits, he was just the lamb. Though he is God's son, he was just the lamb. A truly humble life doesn't shout "me" in its wake, it whispers "God", and that whisper creates just enough ripples for God to work with. Notice that there wasn't a remarkable 100% conversion after Christ's death, just ripples.
So.. what does it mean to be Christ's ripple? What does it mean to become a faintest shadow of a nobody? This troubled my mind this week as I realised that despite being one of the 8 billion people in this world, I still think I can become great in His plan for me. I still try to take credit for things, and I still hope to be recognised in the streets. I find it utmost frustrating when I still expect people to compliment me on my work, and be interested in it. Am I even ready to do this work? Am I ready to become a nobody? Am I ready to not be remembered, not be seen, not be stopped and talked to in the mall? Am I ready to not take any glory for myself? Am I ready to not ever receive compliments for "me" ever again?

I love my God, and so I know my answer to all those questions is a firm "yes". Because I don't want God's blessings to stop at just compliments from people, I don't want my life to shout "me" ever again, I want it to whisper "Jesus", over and over again. I want to be a ripple, I want to be a nobody. In the end, what matters most to me isn't whether someone will remember my face because of what I said about God, but to remember how God impacted their lives through some guy whose name wasn't important.

It gives me great peace to come to that conclusion, because I know that it's okay not to be remembered, it just means that I'm doing my job right as a ripple of Jesus.

From love to more love.

Dear Friends,

I have very joyful news to share with you today. I've finally come to know and love every single child in the boys' special unit, so I decided that you should get to know them too! It's been a pretty long journey up to here, and I am proud to say that I've finally made it, but I wouldn't be here unless if God had opened my heart and soul to receive what I would normally not be able to receive... the returned love from these special kids.

These kids are so different from us, and from one another. They each live in their own world, and are receptive to different stimuli. They have their own way of receiving love and their own way of returning it. So it takes a lot of grace and patience just to learn to love them. I am so thankful that I've finally made a breakthrough with this one last kid that I was finding really hard to love. And for this, I am glad.

It reminds me of a quote from the animated Grinch movie:

"And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say

That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day!

And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,

And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches… plus two."

I can really feel that through these last two months of working here, God has shown me step by step how to love from scratch, and has yanked, pushed and pulled, and twisted and stretched my heart to its new size, though not three sizes up, but at least two. I don't think I can ever go back to teaching privileged children again, not even children that have fully functional arms and legs and bodies. I can't see a happy child on the street dancing in his cute kitty raincoat without sighing and thinking how oblivious this child is to the joy of being able to move, let alone dance in the rain! But in view of what God is calling me to do in the future, it all makes sense for my heart and passion to be directed towards loving and serving less privileged children.

So here's a bit about the boys, listed in the order in which I learnt to love them.

Che Kin - age 40+, likes to give high fives, yank unexpected people's hair, pull his clothes over his nose and slap it, take off his clothes, slam doors, and flap his arms like a chicken.

He's the easiest to take care of. He eats and drinks by himself, takes off his clothes, brushes his teeth, and even walks by himself. He never complains and loves to give high fives, but is almost blind and needs a guiding hand in everything. He's really cute and cooperative, so it's easy to like him.

Wing Kit - age 40+, nicknamed The Grumpy Old Man, likes to eat, and pinch people. Dislikes drinking, people touching him, and everything else possible.

He's the only one that ever says anything, even though most of it is in his own language, but at least they sound like words, and sometimes they have meaning. He speaks the most when he's upset, and he has an assortment of inappropriate vocabulary that someone in the past must have taught him to use when he's totally pissed off, which happens when we feed him water and clean his private parts. He's very protective about that, unlike Che Kin who loves being naked and can't see why not. (literally!) He pinches people when he likes them, and pinches people harder when he doesn't. He can see very well and he loves food, and understands what's going on in the room, especially if there's food around. If you eat near him, and not give him any, he will move his chair towards you and give you a very angry and jealous stare. He also bites himself when he's anxious. I guess he's easy to love once you get to know his likes and dislikes, and how to work with him without hurting either yourself or him, and he's quite cute, as he speaks and has signature moves. (which can clearly apply to all of them.)

Tak Tak - age 21, likes food, chewing holes into his clothes, twirling strings around his fingers till they turn purple, rhythmic music, mild tickling and pretty girls. Dislikes water, and people who forces him to drink water.

He is hyperactive and he drools all day long. His diaper is really hard to change if you can't keep him from bouncing all over his "cage". But he's really easy to feed and has this funny goofy smile. Once you get over the fact that you'll get soaked if you be with him (sitting on his bed will wet your pants), then he's pretty fun to be with. He bounces whenever he gets hyped, and that's all the time, and he makes funny sounds with his saliva and grinds his teeth. He makes chewing sounds whenever he eats. He's also really cute, and stares at this one pretty nurse whenever she's in the room, and it's funny to watch. He also doesn't like drinking, but depending on how often you feed him, and what mood he's in, he can choose to swallow very quickly on his own according.

Emmanuel - age 11, likes music, sounds, funny noises, swimming, bathing and playing the piano. Dislikes food and drinks.

He's really small, and everyone who takes care of him treats him like a very spoiled little prince. And he's very spoiled indeed. He's really hard to feed, and I can't feed him more than 3 bites before he cries and completely clamps shut his lips and teeth. He also laughs when he knows he's won the fight. He loves swimming, he loves bathing, and he dances to music and plays with his own bells and maracas. He can't see very well, but he can see blurs. He requires physiotherapy exercises which we have to do for him, and taking care of him is very tiring. But if you're not the one stuck with feeding him, it's usually quite joyful to be with him.

Fu Fu age 50+, likes some foods and drinks, gentle music, and simple compliments. Dislikes being fed against his will, drinking water, drinking sour prune juice.

He has spasms all the time, and can't eat solid food, so everything that goes down his throat has to be in thickened liquid form, and he can choke and spit, and splatter it all over you while you're feeding him, and ruin some pretty good shirts. He takes a long time to feed, and will make a very big mess if you try to slip food into him before he's ready to swallow. Feeding him too quickly will ruin his mood and make him spit out everything. He poos in bed every other day, and isn't very interactive. It took a whole week of feeding him for me to learn how to feed him and how to communicate with him, and also learn of his softer side, the side that can be joyful if given enough time and patience. And the fact that he doesn't always spits it out or spill it, he only does it involuntarily or when you've upsetted him. He can be quite easy to feed if you wait on him to open his mouth and stick out his tongue.

Ivan - age 16, likes sitting next to the TV, lots of attention, and massages. Dislikes loud music, noise, uncomfortable sitting/lying postures, and being left alone.

He can't move most of his body, and lies in a wheelchair all day long next to the TV. He cries whenever his choice of music isn't playing, and whenever he's wet or uncomfortable. He doesn't do much else. He can't eat, so he drinks through a tube attached to his belly. His body is deformed, and he has extra rows of teeth, and very bad breath. He's heavy, he can't move, he can't interact, and it's really hard to put clothes on him, and so easy to leave alone and walk away. He makes us all listen to his choice of music. He's been really hard to love because I don't know how to make him comfortable, and I don't like his choice of music. Nor did I have the patience to massage him and talk to him. Not until last week, I did not have the patience to love him.

So how did I learn to love him? By spending lots and lots of time with him. Instead of spending time with my beloved Tung Tung, after discovering that Tung Tung loves Disney and Ivan doesn't, I decided to take Ivan out for walks in the garden, and spend hours in the bedroom with Ivan helping him to become comfortable, talking to him and massaging his body, so that Tung Tung can watch TV. And for the first 5 days, it's Tung Tung's distant cries of joy and jubilee that's been keeping me going, but for the last few days, I haven't been intentional about keeping Ivan out of the way, rather I enjoyed spending some nice quiet time with Ivan whenever possible, so if ever, he feels uncomfortable in the living room, I would take him on garden walks, and spend time adjusting the cushions on his bed to make him comfortable, so that I can keep talking to him and massaging his sore limbs. Somewhere along the way, I realised that Ivan was simply a lonely kid who needs just as much love as anyone else, and is stuck in a very uncomfortable position that makes his body sore all the time. So I decided, I would be the one to love this kid more so that he can know love the way that everyone else does. He's now my favourite boy, not because he's obedient or fun to be with, simply because he needs me.

So to end, I share with you the words of my favourite colleague back in DBSPD -

"I love every single one of them, but [Ivan] I love even more."

And it makes me wonder.. how close is this love to the Lord's love for us? He doesn't love us because we have something to offer, He loves us because we'd be so lost in purpose and meaning if we don't have Him. He loves us because He loves us. That's all there is to it.

Dear friends, thank you once again for sharing your time with me through this journey of mine. Please continue to pray for my service here and for being allowed to continue for a year after my probation is over, and also pray for health, and clarity in mind as I plan what to do next, and as I deal with everything that I have to deal with at HOLF, at home, and everywhere else. Also pray for the hearts that I'll be sharing my life with, and pray for radical awakenings, because my work isn't just with the orphans, my work is to bear witness to the great love of our Lord Jesus Christ, who came to earth and died on the cross for us, so that we can share a personal connection with our God.

Peace.

James