Visions of Africa

Ten and a half years ago, Watoto came to my church at the time, Alliance International Church in Hong Kong. Hearing their story and their songs of hope, I had started thinking about going into missions. It seemed like the thing to do. They were joyful and they needed love.

In 2002, I had the opportunity, sponsored by the same church, to go to a conference in Germany. It was called Teenstreet. I also followed on with a project called Teens in Mission, and had a short term outreach at Biel, Switzerland. Sharing the gospel through sharing life with a team of 40 other teenagers who were from all around the world. It was exciting, and it was fun. However, it gave me an illusion or disillusion of what missions was to be like. Fun and exciting, and easy. I had wanted to go into missions, and preferably in a European country at that time. Though years later, the idea of sharing the gospel in Europe dropped out of my mind, becoming a missionary somewhere where I was needed still hung close to my heart.

Looking back now, I understand that I was looking not for an opportunity to serve, but an opportunity to belong, to be needed. But for whatever cause, it had drawn me towards God and towards His ministry in Hong Kong. I sought to grow in Christ, and when it suited my purpose, had strived to achieve what I should have waited on God's will for. The opportunity to quit my job and work for HOLF had been just what I wanted. Despite my foolishness, God had humoured me and had given me the opportunity to serve and to learn, and it had been a rewarding time in my life, though I had not been able to see the fullness of it until now.

During that time, I met a precious and lovely woman, a devout daughter of God. I fell in love with her compassion to serve the needy, and her devotion to serve the Lord. And despite knowing that it wasn't meant to be, we still tried to make things work. For years after, I had put much blame on her for not loving and for my fall from God. It was until my recent experience of inner healing, was I able to think straight and reevaluate the intent behind each of her words and actions, and see the true love that she had tried to witness to me. There was one line that she must have repeated more than a thousand times during our relationship, and I had always taken it be some weird negative thing to say while you were in a relationship, because it can be taken in such a way. She had said that she was not going to marry me, for she was not the one, she was the one that would prepare me for the one that comes after her. Recently, I considered the prophetic value of these words, and it dawned on me that it was indeed what she had done, though I am not too sure if that was her intent. However, now.. 4 years later, I have chosen to receive these words, and acknowledge the truth that had been spoken.

In the past few months, I had decided to lay off relationships for a while, and to focus my attention on God. For the measure of faith that He is giving me is great, and I wanted to optimize my growth. And so, in essence I had claimed that my other half is, in fact, Jesus. Now thinking back to the prophetic value of her line, it had made perfect sense. The reason that I was able to grow so rapidly spiritually, in this new spiritual environment, was that while I was in that relationship, she had introduced me to the gifts of tongues, healing and prophesy. Though at the time, I could not understand the significance of it, this time, I did. And thus, I received an accelerated time of spiritual growth.

It's been a very exciting time indeed. Receiving my identity as a Son of God, and receiving gifts as I learn to obey His two commandments: Love God, and Love my neighbour as myself. There's been nothing more satisfying than the past few months. He has shown me new hope and new visions, some connecting to visions that I had in the past, and some as a preview of what is to come. He showed me miracles that I cannot deny, a personal miracle of healing, and opportunities to prophesy, bless, encourage, and love those around me. He also showed me areas in His ministry that I fit into, and can play a part in, and I am always excited as I continue to grow and wait for Him to reveal my next step.

I saw Watoto again this summer, exactly 10 years from the time in AIC, this time, they just happened to be in Wollongong, Australia. The very church that my friends and I found the second day we arrived there. Their story had evolved from 10 years ago, from when they were looking for support to feed and house hungry children, to having employment opportunities for those that had grown up in their villages, and to have university options for their kids and to have new ministries coming out of the original ministry. It was encouraging and just by witnessing it had once more renewed my hopes to serve God in similar situations, renewed my passion to become a teacher, and had sparked my new found passion for social justice.

There is so much more I want to share, keep reading!

Love,

James

Five-year gap

Dear friends,

It's been a while since I updated this blog. To be more specific, it's been 5 years. Lots has happened since. I've journeyed away from God, took my fill of the wilderness.. but He never gave up on me, and His plan for me was still in action when I came back, broken and desperate, much like the Lost Son. Just as He's promised, He clothed me in Sonship, covered my sins and brought me back to where I had left, and acted like I had never been away. Lavished me with love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

He healed my brokenness, broke my shackles, showed me visions and wonders, and has started to build me up for His glory once more. I am left speechless at the feet of His throne, I willingly kneel in service of My king, and willingly offer up my life once again for Him. Despite my time in the wilderness and chaos of this world, He has measured out the measures of faith that He would give me when I returned, and He gave it to me. Despite being away, and having to struggle to return, upon my return, He has granted me faith that is greater, and evermore unshakable than before. I see His urgency, and I answer His call to service. I know He speaks the truth, and He beckons me to follow. I will follow Him to the ends of the earth and back again. I will answer the Voice of Truth, and live out my life for Him.

As of the last post, my time at the orphanage that year had been interrupted and cut short, consequences of actions both by myself and those around me. Followed by a series of desperate actions, denying all love, faith and hope from my life, as I embraced the world and its values and denied my place with God. I journeyed deep into sin, and did not surface until I was out of options, and then despite struggling to return to Him, I treaded down a murky and confused path up until this summer, when He interceded and pulled me out of desperation and into new life once more.

So now, I turn my focus from my broken past, and look up, with new life, new strength and new love for the broken world around me. Taking my experience and my life to the altar, and offering it up for His glory. I see Him taking it, breaking it, blessing it, and then giving it back out into the world and blessing multitudes with it. Thus is my new determination for my resumed path.

I will continue to write and record His many blessings, visions and works in my life. I blog for my own sake, especially as God has started to connect the dots again, I'm starting to see how my past and my future will connect. So I will write these down for my own reflection later, though I may also use this as a form of witness to His works and glory.

I have learnt much in the past 5 years, even in the past 3 months. I hope to share more with you soon.

Blessings and Merry Christmas!

James