Visions of Zimbabwe

Exciting times, my friends. God has been training me and growing me abundantly, and I can't remember a time where I'm not maxing out on my spiritual output for the past 6 months. This is really amazing. He's taught me to transfer visions onto paper, with colourful symbolic sketches, while drawing was never a talent, He always gives the ability to draw when it is necessary. Now I just enjoy sketching, and bring my sketchbook out with me everywhere. I've been spending a lot of time learning about Him, hearing from Him, and seeing from Him, not to mention being rebuked and growing further Christ-like. It's been hard work, but it's been amazing.

So anyway.. I think a couple months ago, while I was sharing my faith story with friend, she told me about Heidi Baker's work in Mozambique, and their School of Ministry there, and it's exciting for me to find out about that because they have similar ideals and beliefs as I do, especially on loving one person at a time, serving the ultra-poor and on fully relying on God for finances. I've been looking for direction in terms of ministry as well as a modern day ministry school. I don't like seminary, but I do very much like learning on the job, as well as learning practical skills like prayer, healing and worship. This is my first knowledge about Southern Africa.

Today, I took a nap at around 7pm, and had a very short dream that I woke abruptly from, and it goes like this: I was standing in a pool of water, and my shoes, my socks and the bottom of my shorts or trousers were wet, and my cheeky friend came along and asked if I was spending too much time in Muriel's Mine. I woke up wondering what that means, so I did some googling and found "Muriel Mine, Zimbabwe" on a map. And since the dream was about water, I went on maps to see if there were large bodies of water somewhere, and the closest body of water is a lake very far from the mine. I was a little confused, so I prayed for further hints on what it may be about. And I had a spark of inspiration, and deleted "Muriel Mine" from my search and searched "Zimbabwe flood" instead. And there it was, flood reports for Zimbabwe for both Feb 2014 and Jan 2015. And just out of curiosity, I zoomed out on the map that I was on, and found that Zimbabwe was the next door neighbor to Mozambique! Since I'm not a knowledgable person, before today I was only 60% sure that Zimbabwe was in Africa at all. It was even less with Mozambique two months ago, I had a sneaky suspicion that since it sounded a bit French that it may be a small country that I overlooked in Europe. *laughs*

So anyway, brothers and sisters, I would ask if you can pray for the flood situation in Zimbabwe and pray that people will be kept safe and will experience God's love, grace, and mercy through this ordeal.

//edit

After making this post, a brother in Christ shared a dream that he had on Feb 3. It was about a man that he knew from Zimbabwe being forced into slave labour, and about floods being planned by the government to displace people for more trafficking. I did a quick google search and found that this is true, and the last updates about floods on this website (http://floodlist.com/tag/zimbabwe) were made on Feb 3 and 4 this year.

So I'd like to invite you to pray with us as we pray for the injustice being done to the 3,300 families that were displaced last year, and however many more that will be and had been displaced over the years, and ask God to bring an end to modern day slavery and comfort and love to the people affected.

I declare the Beatitudes over them (Matt 5:3-12)

He said:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Ripples of Love

Hi friends,

I recently received a word that helped me over some tough times. At first, it was just a prophetic exchange session (my very first!) where my friend and I had in turn been shown visions for one another, and it was really cool. I saw God filling her up unendingly and her serving many that needed healing and loving, and she saw me in God's ocean of love, where all my sorrows and pain are washed out. At that time, I thought it was really cool and didn't think too much of it.

Later, while I was struggling with carrying the hurt of others (something that I'm learning to let go to God, since it's not my duty to carry someone's pain and hurt, when Christ has already died for them and in turn set them free from all forms of captivity), I saw that I was focusing on myself too much, even when I was receiving that word, and I thought I was at the centre of the picture when actually I'm on the corner. A tiny stamp sized me on an A3 sheet of waves of His love. That love is so massive that there's no way for me to ever gain any hurt if even I swam through it to the other side, because it'll just keep coming. So while I was dwelling on this much love, and sharing about the joys of that discovery, God put it together in a form of a poem, and that's what I'm going to share with you today. =)

Let this also touch your hearts with beautiful praises for His majestic love for us!!

Ripples of Love

prophetic interpretation

Tremors.. Like ripples in my heart
Your gentle finger dipping upon the still lake
Leaving trails like a dragonfly
Feeding and filling my soul, o yearning soul

I am content as your hand dances along the surface
Waves after waves of love; exhilaration escapes my lips
You pause, then immerse yourself into the deep end
Flowing wonderfully and beautifully, Your love for me

It was you who stepped into my soul
An experienced diver with gentle ease
My soul drifting and parting with your slightest gesture
The drops. The drizzle. My soul sings delight.

I gaze up in my vision to see the eyes of a phoenix
So rich, so blue. Enticing..
Beckoning..
They said come.. Come, my true love
Dive deep into mine, as far as I am yours
Come in, come further, He said to me
Surrender your lake to my ocean of love.

As my soul drips into Him
I feel His brackish love stir invasively
Drenching, caressing, holding, cradling.
I opened my lips to utter His praises, but no sound came out
No word was worthy enough
The only thing left was to let go
I let go of the edges of my heart, my soul..
Letting the rest of the ocean flow
Rinse through me, overwhelm my small existence
His pure crystals flow through me, making me new.
New texture, new depth, new richness, new everything

I in Him and Him in me.
No borders. No break. No longer two.

At a distance, I see a lighthouse
He said, this is my Son
As the light shone on me, my crystals resonated and shone with equal brightness
The crystals around me lit up as well, and opened a path
Go there, my child, follow the path
For you are my salt and my light
---

This is what I saw in my mind when writing of these crystals and lights:

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

---Matthew 5:13-16

Be blessed!

Visions of Africa

Ten and a half years ago, Watoto came to my church at the time, Alliance International Church in Hong Kong. Hearing their story and their songs of hope, I had started thinking about going into missions. It seemed like the thing to do. They were joyful and they needed love.

In 2002, I had the opportunity, sponsored by the same church, to go to a conference in Germany. It was called Teenstreet. I also followed on with a project called Teens in Mission, and had a short term outreach at Biel, Switzerland. Sharing the gospel through sharing life with a team of 40 other teenagers who were from all around the world. It was exciting, and it was fun. However, it gave me an illusion or disillusion of what missions was to be like. Fun and exciting, and easy. I had wanted to go into missions, and preferably in a European country at that time. Though years later, the idea of sharing the gospel in Europe dropped out of my mind, becoming a missionary somewhere where I was needed still hung close to my heart.

Looking back now, I understand that I was looking not for an opportunity to serve, but an opportunity to belong, to be needed. But for whatever cause, it had drawn me towards God and towards His ministry in Hong Kong. I sought to grow in Christ, and when it suited my purpose, had strived to achieve what I should have waited on God's will for. The opportunity to quit my job and work for HOLF had been just what I wanted. Despite my foolishness, God had humoured me and had given me the opportunity to serve and to learn, and it had been a rewarding time in my life, though I had not been able to see the fullness of it until now.

During that time, I met a precious and lovely woman, a devout daughter of God. I fell in love with her compassion to serve the needy, and her devotion to serve the Lord. And despite knowing that it wasn't meant to be, we still tried to make things work. For years after, I had put much blame on her for not loving and for my fall from God. It was until my recent experience of inner healing, was I able to think straight and reevaluate the intent behind each of her words and actions, and see the true love that she had tried to witness to me. There was one line that she must have repeated more than a thousand times during our relationship, and I had always taken it be some weird negative thing to say while you were in a relationship, because it can be taken in such a way. She had said that she was not going to marry me, for she was not the one, she was the one that would prepare me for the one that comes after her. Recently, I considered the prophetic value of these words, and it dawned on me that it was indeed what she had done, though I am not too sure if that was her intent. However, now.. 4 years later, I have chosen to receive these words, and acknowledge the truth that had been spoken.

In the past few months, I had decided to lay off relationships for a while, and to focus my attention on God. For the measure of faith that He is giving me is great, and I wanted to optimize my growth. And so, in essence I had claimed that my other half is, in fact, Jesus. Now thinking back to the prophetic value of her line, it had made perfect sense. The reason that I was able to grow so rapidly spiritually, in this new spiritual environment, was that while I was in that relationship, she had introduced me to the gifts of tongues, healing and prophesy. Though at the time, I could not understand the significance of it, this time, I did. And thus, I received an accelerated time of spiritual growth.

It's been a very exciting time indeed. Receiving my identity as a Son of God, and receiving gifts as I learn to obey His two commandments: Love God, and Love my neighbour as myself. There's been nothing more satisfying than the past few months. He has shown me new hope and new visions, some connecting to visions that I had in the past, and some as a preview of what is to come. He showed me miracles that I cannot deny, a personal miracle of healing, and opportunities to prophesy, bless, encourage, and love those around me. He also showed me areas in His ministry that I fit into, and can play a part in, and I am always excited as I continue to grow and wait for Him to reveal my next step.

I saw Watoto again this summer, exactly 10 years from the time in AIC, this time, they just happened to be in Wollongong, Australia. The very church that my friends and I found the second day we arrived there. Their story had evolved from 10 years ago, from when they were looking for support to feed and house hungry children, to having employment opportunities for those that had grown up in their villages, and to have university options for their kids and to have new ministries coming out of the original ministry. It was encouraging and just by witnessing it had once more renewed my hopes to serve God in similar situations, renewed my passion to become a teacher, and had sparked my new found passion for social justice.

There is so much more I want to share, keep reading!

Love,

James

Five-year gap

Dear friends,

It's been a while since I updated this blog. To be more specific, it's been 5 years. Lots has happened since. I've journeyed away from God, took my fill of the wilderness.. but He never gave up on me, and His plan for me was still in action when I came back, broken and desperate, much like the Lost Son. Just as He's promised, He clothed me in Sonship, covered my sins and brought me back to where I had left, and acted like I had never been away. Lavished me with love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

He healed my brokenness, broke my shackles, showed me visions and wonders, and has started to build me up for His glory once more. I am left speechless at the feet of His throne, I willingly kneel in service of My king, and willingly offer up my life once again for Him. Despite my time in the wilderness and chaos of this world, He has measured out the measures of faith that He would give me when I returned, and He gave it to me. Despite being away, and having to struggle to return, upon my return, He has granted me faith that is greater, and evermore unshakable than before. I see His urgency, and I answer His call to service. I know He speaks the truth, and He beckons me to follow. I will follow Him to the ends of the earth and back again. I will answer the Voice of Truth, and live out my life for Him.

As of the last post, my time at the orphanage that year had been interrupted and cut short, consequences of actions both by myself and those around me. Followed by a series of desperate actions, denying all love, faith and hope from my life, as I embraced the world and its values and denied my place with God. I journeyed deep into sin, and did not surface until I was out of options, and then despite struggling to return to Him, I treaded down a murky and confused path up until this summer, when He interceded and pulled me out of desperation and into new life once more.

So now, I turn my focus from my broken past, and look up, with new life, new strength and new love for the broken world around me. Taking my experience and my life to the altar, and offering it up for His glory. I see Him taking it, breaking it, blessing it, and then giving it back out into the world and blessing multitudes with it. Thus is my new determination for my resumed path.

I will continue to write and record His many blessings, visions and works in my life. I blog for my own sake, especially as God has started to connect the dots again, I'm starting to see how my past and my future will connect. So I will write these down for my own reflection later, though I may also use this as a form of witness to His works and glory.

I have learnt much in the past 5 years, even in the past 3 months. I hope to share more with you soon.

Blessings and Merry Christmas!

James

Losing Ivan

Father, I am so thankful that You're always with me, and nothing can take you away from me. Amen.

Dear friends,

Consider for a moment: Ivan, 16, cerebral palsy, liver failure, dead. That would be the summary of Ivan's life. When you read this, or even when you see him in person, you might think there's limited use to this person's life. Or simply said, meaningless; pointless. Why would God create someone like that?

But for me, his life, and now, his death, has taught me a priceless lesson. It was nobody's fault, he died in the hospital, they couldn't save him.

I went to see his body one last time today, before they wrapped him up and send him to the morgue. I expected to see one of those peaceful, calm faces that you see at a funeral home, or in the movies, but instead, it was completely out of my expectations.

What I saw was an empty shell. Eyes staring off at unmatched angles, mouth gaping open, lips black and life sucked out of every part of his body. A container for the boy who was, but looking at it now, it wasn't worthy to carry the Ivan that I got to know so well. It looked like Ivan, but it wasn't. It was only his earthly home, he's vacated it now. He's in heaven with God.

His looks didn't really shock me, not that I expected to see him like that, nor that I've seen dead people before. When I saw him, I understood a very important thing. I understood Who Ivan Was. All the time that he was alive, I never pondered this, yet the first glance of his empty shell tells me more about Ivan than I had ever known.

I'll tell you who he was not. Ivan was not the deformed shell I saw in front of me. Ivan was not the bulgy face, the twisted limps, the crooked teeth. Ivan was none of those things that almost everyone had recognised him by. Ivan was the sparkle in the eyes, Ivan was the energy behind the upturned corners of his mouth whenever he smiled, or the energy behind the horrible wail that always followed a dirty diaper. Ivan was the shaking arms and yelps of joy whenever that diaper was changed, Ivan was the life that had filled that empty shell once upon a time.

Ivan was never the disabled child we all saw upon first glance; Ivan was the very able spirit that we never looked twice at until it was gone.

It was so easy to ignore the noisy kid in the corner that always whines about his discomforts. It's easy to sit him next to his favourite music, and stick him in the background. But how precious do his screams now seem, when we can only hear them in our dreams.

Though he was severely handicapped while he was alive, looking at the empty shell told me that he had everything that life was about. It's not whether you can move, or whether you can eat, or whether you can see that makes you human. It's not how you live that makes your life meaningful. It's the fact that you are able to live that gives meaning to your life.

We're all born the same way, God breathes life into our bodies, and then when we go, we all go the same way, the same breath of life leaves and all that's left is an earthly container; a container that has nothing to do with the life that we had except for the fact that it was used to carry it. So then if we come and go the same way, then what makes us any different from one another? I think this is a very valuable lesson that I'm learning right now. Learning that we're all the same, and learning to see the life in the person rather than the shell around them.

Well, all I can say now is. Ivan's free from his earthly shell and is happy in heaven. He lived his life as best as he could, bearing simple witness to joy, trust, love, hope and faith. I look forward to seeing his heavenly body, perfect and free, and close to the Lord. I'll forever remember the lesson I learnt today. It was a valuable one.

Dear friends, please pray for my colleagues and myself. Including the death of my colleague on the 14th, this makes two deaths in a fortnight. It'll be hard to bear, so please remember our griefing in your prayers, and pray that God will be in this House and be in each of our hearts to help us through each day, as we continue to serve here.

Thanks,

James

No longer L.O.S.T.

Welcome to my Life Lyrics, by Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

(Watch on youtube.com - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt0WP9ZBNiY&feature=related)

----

Just some small thoughts.

This song I hold very close to my heart, because this song used to speak right to my heart, but now I can reflect just how much Jesus has done in my life, because I no longer feel lost and no longer need any of these things.

My Jesus has set me free. And hence, I will choose to live as I have been living for the past few months. Free and serving the God that I love.

"You have been set free from sin and have become slaves of righteousness." - Romans 6:18

I've got a Halleluyah Heart!

I've got a hallelujah heart, it won't stop singing
I've got a hallelujah heart, It won't stop singing your praise
I've got a hallelujah heart, It's beatin' to the rhythm
I've got a hallelujah heart, It's beatin' to the rhythm of praise

A hallelujah heart always wants to start every day with worship and praise
A hallelujah heart always wants to startin a glory and hallelujah way
Glory hallelujah!

I've got a hallelujah heart, It won't stop singing won't stop singing
I've got a hallelujah heart, it won't stop singing your praise
it won't stop singing won't stop, It's beatin' to the rhythm
it won't stop singing your praise

(Song sample: http://www.worshipmusic.com/lib/worshipmusic/19852-02.mp3)

---------------------------

Dear friends,

Work at the orphanage has been pretty awesome. I've overcomed some nice barriers in my work, like handling poo directly, and not be grossed out by it, and also, I'm continuing to learn to love the children and to not only take care of their physical need, but their emotional needs too.

If you can remember Wing Kit, he's the one that's been nicknamed "The Grumpy Old Man" by the rest of the staff, and he's always lived with a frown and lots of complaints. But since two weeks ago, he's been spending most of his days smiling, and it's kinda very cute and contagious, and I'm so in love with seeing that smile on his face, and have been so encouraged because I know I'm one of the ones that put that on him. I guess a lot of the time, all he's reflecting is his difficulty in life (as he's quite self-concious about his disabilities) and he's reflecting what sort of tones and comments that everyone have been giving him, and often he doesn't get as much praise as everyone else, because one of his main means of communication is to pinch. A light pinch for affirmation, and a hard pinch for complaints. But he lives in a room where everyone else gets more praise than him, and I guess, he notices it and gets very upset. So I've been giving him his much needed praise, whenever I'm taking care of him, and spending so much more extra time just bonding and waiting on him to reach out and touch my hand, and giving him praise whenever he's within hearing range, and he's really made a U-turn, and I'm just glad to see his cute smiling baby face every morning!

I'm full of praise today, and much of these past few weeks, because I've settled in quite well into the work, and am making good progress in my working relationship with the other staff, and have been encouraging my friends in the New Territory area to meet up more often for dinner during the week, at least once a week, and it's becoming a very good source of support and fun, and it's really great to be having this time of fellowship to keep me going. And the group is growing, and it's really encouraging just to have a steady group of friends in the area that spend time together every week, and just enjoy some light games and a good meal. So I'm really happy about this.

I've been spending a lot of time praying and praising, and have been taking every moment of joy as a blessing from Christ, and have been giving Him praise for all the little things that happen during the day, and have been relying on Him more and more, trusting His plan for me, and also living out my witness for Him, and it's been such an amazing month that looking back, I cannot tell which day God has blessed me more and which day less, there's been so many opportunities to give thanks that I've lost track of it all. I just know that He's blessing me in all the areas of my life, and helping me to become the worshipper that He deserves to worship Him and helping me become a wonderful witness of His grace, His joy, and His love, and that is really awesome!

I've been shamelessly sharing the Gospel and sharing about God with people around me, whether Christian or not, it doesn't matter, because this amazing love feels so tangible and so contagious that I must share about it, and it's just been an encouragement to everyone, and that's just really awesome! And so, when it comes down to just sharing about my work, and my passion, and my dreams, and this amazing love that I've got, and when I'm sharing the same material with anyone and everyone, it's no longer offensive because I'm no longer preaching, and that's such a great revelation for me, because I love sharing about this love, and I've finally found a way of doing so where people can just feel this love and see how great it is, without needing to hide from "preaching"!

I can see now how Christ can walk up to anyone and get into real deep, meaningful conversations with them, because He's got this amazing love and I experience it all the time too, when you're so in love with God and so in love with His people, you can get right down to the important things and skip a lot of pleasantries. Because it's not who they are, it's who He is. It's such a good revelation!

So.. It's been an amazing month, and it's only the beginning of all these awesome blessings that God's been raining down on me lately, and so I'm really excited about what happens next! Thanks for your time again, my friends, please keep me in your prayers, and pray for health, and joy, and patience, and love to fulfill all things that bring Him glory! Amen!