It's funny seeing how God's plan for me line up in my life even before I became a Christian. His thoughts for me started even before Creation. It's a concept that's so hard to grasp, it's something that you'd repeat to yourself when you're down in a valley and try to believe, but when I look back now, I really do believe that He's got it all lined up for me. Beginning to end, past to present, and present to future. I would never have imagined to be given this calling at any point of my life.
Let's start at the beginning. I am born with a genetic disorder, Klinefelter Syndrome. I have a weaker body, a weaker mind, and some autistic symptoms. It's the struggle of my life. I can't read social cues, I can't lift and look buff, and I can't focus for more than 10 minutes! All my life, I've been trying to explain for myself, explain why I can't do this, or why I can't do that. I tried explaining for God too, how this would be my life's struggle and God would never give me anything else, that I would have the faith of an ox and never struggle with anything else in the world. How far wrong was I =P To top it off, my medicine throws me into a hormonal cyclone, where my physical body can't keep up and keeps on getting sick, and my emotions make a screaming banshee feel like a hummingbird, and my self-worth and self-acceptance comes down to accepting these as my permanent situation. That I would never be better. That I am made this way.
I got lucky in high school, I went to an international school where the curriculum was more balanced than the local one, so my grades in comparison were better, though I really didn't know how to study. My parents had put all their hopes and dreams into my education that they would punish me for not being excellent, for not focusing, for not doing my best in school. Was I really naughty? I did not know. But I ended up with average grades when compared to my peers in that school, but they were good enough to get me into any university here. Even when I failed at university, these old grades still gave me a chance at others.
I am gifted in language. I grew up speaking English, international school, international church. It's the one language I am literate in. But on paper, I received a D initially, and in comparison with first language English users, there are lots that I don't know. Nevertheless, it was the one thing I was good at in Hong Kong. The one thing that they acknowledged far beyond common sense: the natural international accent. They can't tell where I'm from, but they can tell, I've spoken this language in context. So after failing my attempts to get a Mathematics and Physics degree, and an Accounting degree, I've finally settled with English in second language teaching, primary school stream.
I had drifted away from God at that point, so the plan was simple: study for 4 years, and make up for the salary gap between what my peers were making and what I should have been making if I had progressed similarly. And it should be easy, being a native speaker of English and all. Funny thing, it was anything but easy, I'm in my third year now, and I am struggling with the workload, but somehow I made it past the last two years, I'm going to keep trying because if I fall now, I don't know how I'll get up again. But now, I also have God's assurance that I should be able to do all these things if I keep my life balanced. It would have been impossible if He hadn't done some healing over my condition and if I hadn't made the choice to be mediocre by rejecting modern medicine and turning to God to take care of the rest.
What God helped me change were my self-image, my perspective on my situation, and He took away quite a lot of the hurt that I had wrapped myself in to justify the things that I was going through. He had unravelled me in such a strong, yet gentle manner. I still have Klinefelter, I still struggle with all these, save for the medical complications, but I am now very open to God's transforming power. It'll still call for a lot of work, but I believe through humility, God will help me overcome all of these things. And now that I know my calling, I know He's going to do even more with me.
Sunday, 3 May 2015
Justice Conference Asia 2015
Just been to a pretty big event over here. My church, The Vine Church Hong Kong, hosted this year's Justice Conference Asia, which happens to be my first JCA as well, and for 2 and a half days, speaker after speaker came and shared about three things: i) what is Justice in God's heart, ii) their work in different parts of Asia (and Australia), and about what we can do to help the cause, and there's been so much inspiration and information (overflow) that I probably can't piece together a good reflection until much later. However, it has already started causing changes in my views, my faith, as well as my calling, and I can't help getting excited about it.
In a nutshell, Justice is treating people the way that God intended them to be treated. And that basically means loving them as the beautiful individuals that God made them to be, and honouring them, and giving them a place in the world. It's not hard, because you don't have to go all the way across the world and love an abandoned child or a victim of sorts in order to do this, you just need to start at where you are and love any unloved, unwelcomed person you meet. It's still super hard to do, but so long as you're willing, you can ask God to change your heart.
I've also been receiving a lot of direction from God about what He might be calling me to do in the near and distant future, and I'll be writing about that soon.
In a nutshell, Justice is treating people the way that God intended them to be treated. And that basically means loving them as the beautiful individuals that God made them to be, and honouring them, and giving them a place in the world. It's not hard, because you don't have to go all the way across the world and love an abandoned child or a victim of sorts in order to do this, you just need to start at where you are and love any unloved, unwelcomed person you meet. It's still super hard to do, but so long as you're willing, you can ask God to change your heart.
I've also been receiving a lot of direction from God about what He might be calling me to do in the near and distant future, and I'll be writing about that soon.
Friday, 13 March 2015
Healing
I started praying physical healing over people when I started to believe that it still happens. That was some time in August 2014, especially after a piece of glass disappeared from the inside of my foot after prayer. Though no healing actually occurred as I prayed, I truly believed that it would if God wills. So I kept it up, like much of my other spiritual gifts, I just leapt out in faith and sought to see where God would lead me. Ultimately, I wanted to be obedient, to learn, to love, and to learn to love.
I prayed consistently for various people including myself, as I am quite prone to injuries, and while flus, colds and headaches going away can easily be explained, I had always thanked God and kept faithful in trying and believing, and I guess it pays off in two ways: (i) God coming in and showing me how it's done, and (ii) I've gained courage and experience in this matter.
My first super obvious self heal occurred when my friend told me that tongues are very useful for healing, so just out of curiosity, I tried it over some bad persistent fungal growth just before I applied my ointment, and halfway in-between my wish and my doubts, the dry, rough skin disappeared from right under my fingers and were replaced with new, smooth and healthy skin. Wow! That was pretty amazing, I quickly continued praying for everything I could think of, but despite all the other injuries that I had, only the skin healed. Still, I was thrilled, because that had been such an annoying issue for such a long time!
So after this, I persisted in continuing to pray for people, and had double the confidence in praying healing over myself. I've heard testimonies that seem to say that you cannot do both healing on yourself and on others, but I don't know if that's Biblical, all I know is: We pray, God heals. So I kept trying for about 8 months, and then finally, during this healing service, Tom Jones came with his team to visit and they had words of knowledge for everyone. I went for prayer about this painful toothache that had the same symptoms of my previous bad tooth that resulted in a root canal surgery, and a fake tooth. The woman who I went to had a word about an abscess in the right cheek, and that was pretty close. So we prayed, and there wasn't immediate healing, but I know well enough that one healing doesn't affect another, so I turned around and prayed for the next guy, who had hurt his neck while working out that morning. After the first prayer, nothing happened, but I wanted to keep praying and just make it happen. So we went through 6 rounds, and slowly, he regained movement from his limited 10% to 80% movement restored. It was awesome! Now that is some good education and encouragement.
Later during the week, I was meeting up with a friend who had been a Christian back in high school, but had opted to be agnostic now in his adult life. Halfway through this meeting, he was flexing his knee a bit, and instinctively, I asked him to stretch out his legs. Surely as I suspected, he had one short and one long leg, just a small difference of a centimetre. Still, a difference is a difference, and it means that if God chooses to come in, He surely will. I prayed a short quiet prayer as I held his feet: "Dear Jesus, thank you for your love for _______. I just pray that you grow this leg back out. Right now. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Amen." And between the two "Thank you"s, his feet aligned! I pushed his shoes up towards his feet to see if it was just the shoes that had moved, but no, they were even now. I was so psych'd! He got up and walked around, but didn't feel much difference, but who knows just what God is going to do with this. I am beside myself, thrilled, to be used for healing. Just so thrilled.
I prayed consistently for various people including myself, as I am quite prone to injuries, and while flus, colds and headaches going away can easily be explained, I had always thanked God and kept faithful in trying and believing, and I guess it pays off in two ways: (i) God coming in and showing me how it's done, and (ii) I've gained courage and experience in this matter.
My first super obvious self heal occurred when my friend told me that tongues are very useful for healing, so just out of curiosity, I tried it over some bad persistent fungal growth just before I applied my ointment, and halfway in-between my wish and my doubts, the dry, rough skin disappeared from right under my fingers and were replaced with new, smooth and healthy skin. Wow! That was pretty amazing, I quickly continued praying for everything I could think of, but despite all the other injuries that I had, only the skin healed. Still, I was thrilled, because that had been such an annoying issue for such a long time!
So after this, I persisted in continuing to pray for people, and had double the confidence in praying healing over myself. I've heard testimonies that seem to say that you cannot do both healing on yourself and on others, but I don't know if that's Biblical, all I know is: We pray, God heals. So I kept trying for about 8 months, and then finally, during this healing service, Tom Jones came with his team to visit and they had words of knowledge for everyone. I went for prayer about this painful toothache that had the same symptoms of my previous bad tooth that resulted in a root canal surgery, and a fake tooth. The woman who I went to had a word about an abscess in the right cheek, and that was pretty close. So we prayed, and there wasn't immediate healing, but I know well enough that one healing doesn't affect another, so I turned around and prayed for the next guy, who had hurt his neck while working out that morning. After the first prayer, nothing happened, but I wanted to keep praying and just make it happen. So we went through 6 rounds, and slowly, he regained movement from his limited 10% to 80% movement restored. It was awesome! Now that is some good education and encouragement.
Later during the week, I was meeting up with a friend who had been a Christian back in high school, but had opted to be agnostic now in his adult life. Halfway through this meeting, he was flexing his knee a bit, and instinctively, I asked him to stretch out his legs. Surely as I suspected, he had one short and one long leg, just a small difference of a centimetre. Still, a difference is a difference, and it means that if God chooses to come in, He surely will. I prayed a short quiet prayer as I held his feet: "Dear Jesus, thank you for your love for _______. I just pray that you grow this leg back out. Right now. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Amen." And between the two "Thank you"s, his feet aligned! I pushed his shoes up towards his feet to see if it was just the shoes that had moved, but no, they were even now. I was so psych'd! He got up and walked around, but didn't feel much difference, but who knows just what God is going to do with this. I am beside myself, thrilled, to be used for healing. Just so thrilled.
Saturday, 21 February 2015
Visions of Zimbabwe
Exciting times, my friends. God has been training me and growing me abundantly, and I can't remember a time where I'm not maxing out on my spiritual output for the past 6 months. This is really amazing. He's taught me to transfer visions onto paper, with colourful symbolic sketches, while drawing was never a talent, He always gives the ability to draw when it is necessary. Now I just enjoy sketching, and bring my sketchbook out with me everywhere. I've been spending a lot of time learning about Him, hearing from Him, and seeing from Him, not to mention being rebuked and growing further Christ-like. It's been hard work, but it's been amazing.
So anyway.. I think a couple months ago, while I was sharing my faith story with friend, she told me about Heidi Baker's work in Mozambique, and their School of Ministry there, and it's exciting for me to find out about that because they have similar ideals and beliefs as I do, especially on loving one person at a time, serving the ultra-poor and on fully relying on God for finances. I've been looking for direction in terms of ministry as well as a modern day ministry school. I don't like seminary, but I do very much like learning on the job, as well as learning practical skills like prayer, healing and worship. This is my first knowledge about Southern Africa.
Today, I took a nap at around 7pm, and had a very short dream that I woke abruptly from, and it goes like this: I was standing in a pool of water, and my shoes, my socks and the bottom of my shorts or trousers were wet, and my cheeky friend came along and asked if I was spending too much time in Muriel's Mine. I woke up wondering what that means, so I did some googling and found "Muriel Mine, Zimbabwe" on a map. And since the dream was about water, I went on maps to see if there were large bodies of water somewhere, and the closest body of water is a lake very far from the mine. I was a little confused, so I prayed for further hints on what it may be about. And I had a spark of inspiration, and deleted "Muriel Mine" from my search and searched "Zimbabwe flood" instead. And there it was, flood reports for Zimbabwe for both Feb 2014 and Jan 2015. And just out of curiosity, I zoomed out on the map that I was on, and found that Zimbabwe was the next door neighbor to Mozambique! Since I'm not a knowledgable person, before today I was only 60% sure that Zimbabwe was in Africa at all. It was even less with Mozambique two months ago, I had a sneaky suspicion that since it sounded a bit French that it may be a small country that I overlooked in Europe. *laughs*
So anyway, brothers and sisters, I would ask if you can pray for the flood situation in Zimbabwe and pray that people will be kept safe and will experience God's love, grace, and mercy through this ordeal.
//edit
After making this post, a brother in Christ shared a dream that he had on Feb 3. It was about a man that he knew from Zimbabwe being forced into slave labour, and about floods being planned by the government to displace people for more trafficking. I did a quick google search and found that this is true, and the last updates about floods on this website (http://floodlist.com/tag/zimbabwe) were made on Feb 3 and 4 this year.
So I'd like to invite you to pray with us as we pray for the injustice being done to the 3,300 families that were displaced last year, and however many more that will be and had been displaced over the years, and ask God to bring an end to modern day slavery and comfort and love to the people affected.
I declare the Beatitudes over them (Matt 5:3-12)
So anyway.. I think a couple months ago, while I was sharing my faith story with friend, she told me about Heidi Baker's work in Mozambique, and their School of Ministry there, and it's exciting for me to find out about that because they have similar ideals and beliefs as I do, especially on loving one person at a time, serving the ultra-poor and on fully relying on God for finances. I've been looking for direction in terms of ministry as well as a modern day ministry school. I don't like seminary, but I do very much like learning on the job, as well as learning practical skills like prayer, healing and worship. This is my first knowledge about Southern Africa.
Today, I took a nap at around 7pm, and had a very short dream that I woke abruptly from, and it goes like this: I was standing in a pool of water, and my shoes, my socks and the bottom of my shorts or trousers were wet, and my cheeky friend came along and asked if I was spending too much time in Muriel's Mine. I woke up wondering what that means, so I did some googling and found "Muriel Mine, Zimbabwe" on a map. And since the dream was about water, I went on maps to see if there were large bodies of water somewhere, and the closest body of water is a lake very far from the mine. I was a little confused, so I prayed for further hints on what it may be about. And I had a spark of inspiration, and deleted "Muriel Mine" from my search and searched "Zimbabwe flood" instead. And there it was, flood reports for Zimbabwe for both Feb 2014 and Jan 2015. And just out of curiosity, I zoomed out on the map that I was on, and found that Zimbabwe was the next door neighbor to Mozambique! Since I'm not a knowledgable person, before today I was only 60% sure that Zimbabwe was in Africa at all. It was even less with Mozambique two months ago, I had a sneaky suspicion that since it sounded a bit French that it may be a small country that I overlooked in Europe. *laughs*
So anyway, brothers and sisters, I would ask if you can pray for the flood situation in Zimbabwe and pray that people will be kept safe and will experience God's love, grace, and mercy through this ordeal.
//edit
After making this post, a brother in Christ shared a dream that he had on Feb 3. It was about a man that he knew from Zimbabwe being forced into slave labour, and about floods being planned by the government to displace people for more trafficking. I did a quick google search and found that this is true, and the last updates about floods on this website (http://floodlist.com/tag/zimbabwe) were made on Feb 3 and 4 this year.
So I'd like to invite you to pray with us as we pray for the injustice being done to the 3,300 families that were displaced last year, and however many more that will be and had been displaced over the years, and ask God to bring an end to modern day slavery and comfort and love to the people affected.
I declare the Beatitudes over them (Matt 5:3-12)
He said:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Wednesday, 28 January 2015
Ripples of Love
Hi friends,
I recently received a word that helped me over some tough times. At first, it was just a prophetic exchange session (my very first!) where my friend and I had in turn been shown visions for one another, and it was really cool. I saw God filling her up unendingly and her serving many that needed healing and loving, and she saw me in God's ocean of love, where all my sorrows and pain are washed out. At that time, I thought it was really cool and didn't think too much of it.
Later, while I was struggling with carrying the hurt of others (something that I'm learning to let go to God, since it's not my duty to carry someone's pain and hurt, when Christ has already died for them and in turn set them free from all forms of captivity), I saw that I was focusing on myself too much, even when I was receiving that word, and I thought I was at the centre of the picture when actually I'm on the corner. A tiny stamp sized me on an A3 sheet of waves of His love. That love is so massive that there's no way for me to ever gain any hurt if even I swam through it to the other side, because it'll just keep coming. So while I was dwelling on this much love, and sharing about the joys of that discovery, God put it together in a form of a poem, and that's what I'm going to share with you today. =)
Let this also touch your hearts with beautiful praises for His majestic love for us!!
I recently received a word that helped me over some tough times. At first, it was just a prophetic exchange session (my very first!) where my friend and I had in turn been shown visions for one another, and it was really cool. I saw God filling her up unendingly and her serving many that needed healing and loving, and she saw me in God's ocean of love, where all my sorrows and pain are washed out. At that time, I thought it was really cool and didn't think too much of it.
Later, while I was struggling with carrying the hurt of others (something that I'm learning to let go to God, since it's not my duty to carry someone's pain and hurt, when Christ has already died for them and in turn set them free from all forms of captivity), I saw that I was focusing on myself too much, even when I was receiving that word, and I thought I was at the centre of the picture when actually I'm on the corner. A tiny stamp sized me on an A3 sheet of waves of His love. That love is so massive that there's no way for me to ever gain any hurt if even I swam through it to the other side, because it'll just keep coming. So while I was dwelling on this much love, and sharing about the joys of that discovery, God put it together in a form of a poem, and that's what I'm going to share with you today. =)
Let this also touch your hearts with beautiful praises for His majestic love for us!!
Ripples of Love
prophetic interpretation
Tremors.. Like ripples in my heart
Your gentle finger dipping upon the still lake
Leaving trails like a dragonfly
Feeding and filling my soul, o yearning soul
I am content as your hand dances along the surface
Waves after waves of love; exhilaration escapes my lips
You pause, then immerse yourself into the deep end
Flowing wonderfully and beautifully, Your love for me
It was you who stepped into my soul
An experienced diver with gentle ease
My soul drifting and parting with your slightest gesture
The drops. The drizzle. My soul sings delight.
I gaze up in my vision to see the eyes of a phoenix
So rich, so blue. Enticing..
Beckoning..
They said come.. Come, my true love
Dive deep into mine, as far as I am yours
Come in, come further, He said to me
Surrender your lake to my ocean of love.
As my soul drips into Him
I feel His brackish love stir invasively
Drenching, caressing, holding, cradling.
I opened my lips to utter His praises, but no sound came out
No word was worthy enough
The only thing left was to let go
I let go of the edges of my heart, my soul..
Letting the rest of the ocean flow
Rinse through me, overwhelm my small existence
His pure crystals flow through me, making me new.
New texture, new depth, new richness, new everything
I in Him and Him in me.
No borders. No break. No longer two.
At a distance, I see a lighthouse
He said, this is my Son
As the light shone on me, my crystals resonated and shone with equal brightness
The crystals around me lit up as well, and opened a path
Go there, my child, follow the path
For you are my salt and my light
---
This is what I saw in my mind when writing of these crystals and lights:
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Your gentle finger dipping upon the still lake
Leaving trails like a dragonfly
Feeding and filling my soul, o yearning soul
I am content as your hand dances along the surface
Waves after waves of love; exhilaration escapes my lips
You pause, then immerse yourself into the deep end
Flowing wonderfully and beautifully, Your love for me
It was you who stepped into my soul
An experienced diver with gentle ease
My soul drifting and parting with your slightest gesture
The drops. The drizzle. My soul sings delight.
I gaze up in my vision to see the eyes of a phoenix
So rich, so blue. Enticing..
Beckoning..
They said come.. Come, my true love
Dive deep into mine, as far as I am yours
Come in, come further, He said to me
Surrender your lake to my ocean of love.
As my soul drips into Him
I feel His brackish love stir invasively
Drenching, caressing, holding, cradling.
I opened my lips to utter His praises, but no sound came out
No word was worthy enough
The only thing left was to let go
I let go of the edges of my heart, my soul..
Letting the rest of the ocean flow
Rinse through me, overwhelm my small existence
His pure crystals flow through me, making me new.
New texture, new depth, new richness, new everything
I in Him and Him in me.
No borders. No break. No longer two.
At a distance, I see a lighthouse
He said, this is my Son
As the light shone on me, my crystals resonated and shone with equal brightness
The crystals around me lit up as well, and opened a path
Go there, my child, follow the path
For you are my salt and my light
---
This is what I saw in my mind when writing of these crystals and lights:
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
---Matthew 5:13-16
Be blessed!
Thursday, 25 December 2014
Visions of Africa
Ten and a half years ago, Watoto came to my church at the time, Alliance International Church in Hong Kong. Hearing their story and their songs of hope, I had started thinking about going into missions. It seemed like the thing to do. They were joyful and they needed love.
In 2002, I had the opportunity, sponsored by the same church, to go to a conference in Germany. It was called Teenstreet. I also followed on with a project called Teens in Mission, and had a short term outreach at Biel, Switzerland. Sharing the gospel through sharing life with a team of 40 other teenagers who were from all around the world. It was exciting, and it was fun. However, it gave me an illusion or disillusion of what missions was to be like. Fun and exciting, and easy. I had wanted to go into missions, and preferably in a European country at that time. Though years later, the idea of sharing the gospel in Europe dropped out of my mind, becoming a missionary somewhere where I was needed still hung close to my heart.
Looking back now, I understand that I was looking not for an opportunity to serve, but an opportunity to belong, to be needed. But for whatever cause, it had drawn me towards God and towards His ministry in Hong Kong. I sought to grow in Christ, and when it suited my purpose, had strived to achieve what I should have waited on God's will for. The opportunity to quit my job and work for HOLF had been just what I wanted. Despite my foolishness, God had humoured me and had given me the opportunity to serve and to learn, and it had been a rewarding time in my life, though I had not been able to see the fullness of it until now.
During that time, I met a precious and lovely woman, a devout daughter of God. I fell in love with her compassion to serve the needy, and her devotion to serve the Lord. And despite knowing that it wasn't meant to be, we still tried to make things work. For years after, I had put much blame on her for not loving and for my fall from God. It was until my recent experience of inner healing, was I able to think straight and reevaluate the intent behind each of her words and actions, and see the true love that she had tried to witness to me. There was one line that she must have repeated more than a thousand times during our relationship, and I had always taken it be some weird negative thing to say while you were in a relationship, because it can be taken in such a way. She had said that she was not going to marry me, for she was not the one, she was the one that would prepare me for the one that comes after her. Recently, I considered the prophetic value of these words, and it dawned on me that it was indeed what she had done, though I am not too sure if that was her intent. However, now.. 4 years later, I have chosen to receive these words, and acknowledge the truth that had been spoken.
In the past few months, I had decided to lay off relationships for a while, and to focus my attention on God. For the measure of faith that He is giving me is great, and I wanted to optimize my growth. And so, in essence I had claimed that my other half is, in fact, Jesus. Now thinking back to the prophetic value of her line, it had made perfect sense. The reason that I was able to grow so rapidly spiritually, in this new spiritual environment, was that while I was in that relationship, she had introduced me to the gifts of tongues, healing and prophesy. Though at the time, I could not understand the significance of it, this time, I did. And thus, I received an accelerated time of spiritual growth.
It's been a very exciting time indeed. Receiving my identity as a Son of God, and receiving gifts as I learn to obey His two commandments: Love God, and Love my neighbour as myself. There's been nothing more satisfying than the past few months. He has shown me new hope and new visions, some connecting to visions that I had in the past, and some as a preview of what is to come. He showed me miracles that I cannot deny, a personal miracle of healing, and opportunities to prophesy, bless, encourage, and love those around me. He also showed me areas in His ministry that I fit into, and can play a part in, and I am always excited as I continue to grow and wait for Him to reveal my next step.
I saw Watoto again this summer, exactly 10 years from the time in AIC, this time, they just happened to be in Wollongong, Australia. The very church that my friends and I found the second day we arrived there. Their story had evolved from 10 years ago, from when they were looking for support to feed and house hungry children, to having employment opportunities for those that had grown up in their villages, and to have university options for their kids and to have new ministries coming out of the original ministry. It was encouraging and just by witnessing it had once more renewed my hopes to serve God in similar situations, renewed my passion to become a teacher, and had sparked my new found passion for social justice.
There is so much more I want to share, keep reading!
Love,
James
In 2002, I had the opportunity, sponsored by the same church, to go to a conference in Germany. It was called Teenstreet. I also followed on with a project called Teens in Mission, and had a short term outreach at Biel, Switzerland. Sharing the gospel through sharing life with a team of 40 other teenagers who were from all around the world. It was exciting, and it was fun. However, it gave me an illusion or disillusion of what missions was to be like. Fun and exciting, and easy. I had wanted to go into missions, and preferably in a European country at that time. Though years later, the idea of sharing the gospel in Europe dropped out of my mind, becoming a missionary somewhere where I was needed still hung close to my heart.
Looking back now, I understand that I was looking not for an opportunity to serve, but an opportunity to belong, to be needed. But for whatever cause, it had drawn me towards God and towards His ministry in Hong Kong. I sought to grow in Christ, and when it suited my purpose, had strived to achieve what I should have waited on God's will for. The opportunity to quit my job and work for HOLF had been just what I wanted. Despite my foolishness, God had humoured me and had given me the opportunity to serve and to learn, and it had been a rewarding time in my life, though I had not been able to see the fullness of it until now.
During that time, I met a precious and lovely woman, a devout daughter of God. I fell in love with her compassion to serve the needy, and her devotion to serve the Lord. And despite knowing that it wasn't meant to be, we still tried to make things work. For years after, I had put much blame on her for not loving and for my fall from God. It was until my recent experience of inner healing, was I able to think straight and reevaluate the intent behind each of her words and actions, and see the true love that she had tried to witness to me. There was one line that she must have repeated more than a thousand times during our relationship, and I had always taken it be some weird negative thing to say while you were in a relationship, because it can be taken in such a way. She had said that she was not going to marry me, for she was not the one, she was the one that would prepare me for the one that comes after her. Recently, I considered the prophetic value of these words, and it dawned on me that it was indeed what she had done, though I am not too sure if that was her intent. However, now.. 4 years later, I have chosen to receive these words, and acknowledge the truth that had been spoken.
In the past few months, I had decided to lay off relationships for a while, and to focus my attention on God. For the measure of faith that He is giving me is great, and I wanted to optimize my growth. And so, in essence I had claimed that my other half is, in fact, Jesus. Now thinking back to the prophetic value of her line, it had made perfect sense. The reason that I was able to grow so rapidly spiritually, in this new spiritual environment, was that while I was in that relationship, she had introduced me to the gifts of tongues, healing and prophesy. Though at the time, I could not understand the significance of it, this time, I did. And thus, I received an accelerated time of spiritual growth.
It's been a very exciting time indeed. Receiving my identity as a Son of God, and receiving gifts as I learn to obey His two commandments: Love God, and Love my neighbour as myself. There's been nothing more satisfying than the past few months. He has shown me new hope and new visions, some connecting to visions that I had in the past, and some as a preview of what is to come. He showed me miracles that I cannot deny, a personal miracle of healing, and opportunities to prophesy, bless, encourage, and love those around me. He also showed me areas in His ministry that I fit into, and can play a part in, and I am always excited as I continue to grow and wait for Him to reveal my next step.
I saw Watoto again this summer, exactly 10 years from the time in AIC, this time, they just happened to be in Wollongong, Australia. The very church that my friends and I found the second day we arrived there. Their story had evolved from 10 years ago, from when they were looking for support to feed and house hungry children, to having employment opportunities for those that had grown up in their villages, and to have university options for their kids and to have new ministries coming out of the original ministry. It was encouraging and just by witnessing it had once more renewed my hopes to serve God in similar situations, renewed my passion to become a teacher, and had sparked my new found passion for social justice.
There is so much more I want to share, keep reading!
Love,
James
Five-year gap
Dear friends,
It's been a while since I updated this blog. To be more specific, it's been 5 years. Lots has happened since. I've journeyed away from God, took my fill of the wilderness.. but He never gave up on me, and His plan for me was still in action when I came back, broken and desperate, much like the Lost Son. Just as He's promised, He clothed me in Sonship, covered my sins and brought me back to where I had left, and acted like I had never been away. Lavished me with love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy.
He healed my brokenness, broke my shackles, showed me visions and wonders, and has started to build me up for His glory once more. I am left speechless at the feet of His throne, I willingly kneel in service of My king, and willingly offer up my life once again for Him. Despite my time in the wilderness and chaos of this world, He has measured out the measures of faith that He would give me when I returned, and He gave it to me. Despite being away, and having to struggle to return, upon my return, He has granted me faith that is greater, and evermore unshakable than before. I see His urgency, and I answer His call to service. I know He speaks the truth, and He beckons me to follow. I will follow Him to the ends of the earth and back again. I will answer the Voice of Truth, and live out my life for Him.
As of the last post, my time at the orphanage that year had been interrupted and cut short, consequences of actions both by myself and those around me. Followed by a series of desperate actions, denying all love, faith and hope from my life, as I embraced the world and its values and denied my place with God. I journeyed deep into sin, and did not surface until I was out of options, and then despite struggling to return to Him, I treaded down a murky and confused path up until this summer, when He interceded and pulled me out of desperation and into new life once more.
So now, I turn my focus from my broken past, and look up, with new life, new strength and new love for the broken world around me. Taking my experience and my life to the altar, and offering it up for His glory. I see Him taking it, breaking it, blessing it, and then giving it back out into the world and blessing multitudes with it. Thus is my new determination for my resumed path.
I will continue to write and record His many blessings, visions and works in my life. I blog for my own sake, especially as God has started to connect the dots again, I'm starting to see how my past and my future will connect. So I will write these down for my own reflection later, though I may also use this as a form of witness to His works and glory.
I have learnt much in the past 5 years, even in the past 3 months. I hope to share more with you soon.
Blessings and Merry Christmas!
James
It's been a while since I updated this blog. To be more specific, it's been 5 years. Lots has happened since. I've journeyed away from God, took my fill of the wilderness.. but He never gave up on me, and His plan for me was still in action when I came back, broken and desperate, much like the Lost Son. Just as He's promised, He clothed me in Sonship, covered my sins and brought me back to where I had left, and acted like I had never been away. Lavished me with love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy.
He healed my brokenness, broke my shackles, showed me visions and wonders, and has started to build me up for His glory once more. I am left speechless at the feet of His throne, I willingly kneel in service of My king, and willingly offer up my life once again for Him. Despite my time in the wilderness and chaos of this world, He has measured out the measures of faith that He would give me when I returned, and He gave it to me. Despite being away, and having to struggle to return, upon my return, He has granted me faith that is greater, and evermore unshakable than before. I see His urgency, and I answer His call to service. I know He speaks the truth, and He beckons me to follow. I will follow Him to the ends of the earth and back again. I will answer the Voice of Truth, and live out my life for Him.
As of the last post, my time at the orphanage that year had been interrupted and cut short, consequences of actions both by myself and those around me. Followed by a series of desperate actions, denying all love, faith and hope from my life, as I embraced the world and its values and denied my place with God. I journeyed deep into sin, and did not surface until I was out of options, and then despite struggling to return to Him, I treaded down a murky and confused path up until this summer, when He interceded and pulled me out of desperation and into new life once more.
So now, I turn my focus from my broken past, and look up, with new life, new strength and new love for the broken world around me. Taking my experience and my life to the altar, and offering it up for His glory. I see Him taking it, breaking it, blessing it, and then giving it back out into the world and blessing multitudes with it. Thus is my new determination for my resumed path.
I will continue to write and record His many blessings, visions and works in my life. I blog for my own sake, especially as God has started to connect the dots again, I'm starting to see how my past and my future will connect. So I will write these down for my own reflection later, though I may also use this as a form of witness to His works and glory.
I have learnt much in the past 5 years, even in the past 3 months. I hope to share more with you soon.
Blessings and Merry Christmas!
James
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