REND the heavens 2015

Last night was the end of the REND Worship Conference 2015. And Eddie Ma came and delivered God’s message on what it means to be radical, and why we worship.

I’m still in awe of what has been said and what has been given to me. He came calling, just like Bob and Kimberley Johnson before him, and Philemon Choi before them. “Young men’s visions will fulfil old men’s dreams before they end.” he said. I believe him, because God gave them big dreams, and he gives us, this generation, glorious visions.

So was it a calling? Maybe. For me, it was a timely reminder of what Radical Christianity is about. Real Christianity. Lifestyle Christianity. However you call it. The spiritual warfront. “How can a few radical guys from the dark end of the world strike fear into the heart of the world? The answer is, we are not radical enough. If we responded to God with the same radicality, we would be fulfilling the end time prophecies now.” If we read in Revelations, Christians raise up and go to the ends of the earth, sharing about God fearlessly, with the truth of God’s promises in their eyes and their hearts. That is because they have asked to see and hear and know God’s promises fulfilled, and with that reality in their hearts, they can stand strong against all atrocities. Nothing can stand against our God, whom shall we fear if He is our King?

We are in the end times already. The war has already started. The enemy is gathering troops. If we see this as a war, we can clearly predict what is going to happen very soon. The world is already in chaos. It’s time, brothers and sisters. It’s time to pick up our cross and follow Him. It’s time to go out, soldiers of the Cross, and fulfil what we are called to do.

What are we called to do? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and might. Love your neighbor as yourself. We have always been called to fight darkness with Love, and Love is the only way. What is a radical lover? Eddie Ma says a radical lover stops at nothing to love. I know you are radical, but are you radical in everything that you do? Are you a radical lover of God and of people? Are you radical enough? To die to the cross every time you do anything. Radical in your singing, radical in your dancing, radical in your tithing, radical in your loving. What would it look like if you were to sing as if you were to die for Jesus? What would it look like if you were to give as if you were to die for Jesus? What would it look like if you were to love as if you were to die for Jesus? Is that what you are doing now?

Raise up, my brothers and sisters. It’s time. It’s time to be radical again. The world won’t last, but His love will. And His will. So fix your eyes on Him, and not on this world. Fix your eyes on His promises fulfilled and not on the lies of the enemy. Fix your eyes on how to live radically as a Son and Daughter of God, and not as a son and daughter of this world.

Abide by heavenly rules, and not be blinded anymore. Choose. Choose to live for God, or to live without God. There is no middle ground anymore. If you hear, and understand, you need to make that choice now. The cost is great, living for Jesus. But the cost is even greater, living for the world. Which side will you be on? You have the will to choose, you have freewill. One thing that God made sure to give us. Even when the enemy makes every attempt to tell us that we don’t, we do. So, use it. Make your choice.

God is Always Talking

Lately, God has been teaching me a new way of praying for others and it's really cool. He urges me to not speak at all, until He shows me in my heart a vision and clarify it to where I can speak of it. And so, I proceeded to pray out of faith for those around me, and needless to say, He has delivered every single time, something that is strongly applicable through visions of beans, saplings, and even tissue. It's amazing how it works!

And just today, I've noticed a pattern. A lot of the time when I am praying, I would thank God for love and for words and state that I will open up for the Holy Spirit to tell me what to say, and even as I was saying these, the Holy Spirit has already placed an image in my heart, and it's amazing as I seek to unfold it. I realised that it is very true. People say that God is speaking all the time, and it's a matter of learning to listen. Yes indeed! He is so eager to speak that He runs ahead and starts speaking out of excitement and love for us, much like when your best friend hits on a topic of great interest to you, you'd shoot forward too.

And so continues my journey to learn more about visions and prayers...

Thanks for reading.

Fulfilment of prophecy

Remember that vision I had in March or so, where I was a sunflower standing near a goalpost, and that was God saying that I would grow to become like those spiritual giants in my fellowship? Well, it's happening right now. I was reflecting on some surprising findings about my growth this year, when I realised "Hey, didn't I have a vision about this before?"

And, I have a new friend to thank for that. I showed her my blog, and the first thing she responded was, "I'm sorry about your condition." I was.. pretty shocked, because as far as I knew, I've been pretty blessed and I've been opened about it. And so.. our conversation went like this:

Her: I'm sorry about your condition.
Me: Huh? What condition?
Her: You know.. the condition that you wrote about?
Me: I have a condition?!
Her: Autism.
Me: Ohhh.. yeah..

And I realised then, and much more these last few days, that.. in fact, I have lived like I had no condition at all. God had been so much of a blessing, and so beautifully awesome that I no longer felt disadvantaged, underprivileged, incomplete.. I felt the opposite. I felt chosen, loved, cherished, blessed upon blessed.. And not only that, I don't feel disabled.. I had completely forgotten it. Now that I think of it, I did have something.. and I did struggle so much with it, but God has been so faithful.. so faithful that I have forgotten how it was like. Can you imagine?

I have a friend who used to be an orphan, and just by looking at her, and the love that God pours down on her, you'd never know, because even she does not feel orphaned. He is Father to orphans, be it physical, emotional, psychological, or spiritual. He is Healer to the sick; again, physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. There is nothing He can't complete. He completes us.

So, then seeing that I've come so far, that I've been so constantly fulfilled and filled with joy, that I don't even remember being broken and disadvantaged, I looked for other changes.. and there they were, I realised that people introduce newcomers in our fellowship to me, and I used to think it was just people trying to connect new people to regulars, but it's become more than that. People actually feel loved and welcomed when they spend their first evening with me. I didn't really think of that, I just wanted to love on people and make sure they get connected, because I know what it's like to be left out. For me, this is big because I used to be really bad with meeting new people.

Then my third discovery came nearly at the same time as this last one.. not only are new people coming my way, but other people have been coming to me for advice, comfort, encouragement, and I've slowly come to the realisation that I have taken a leap in Christ, that I have just by experiencing all the joy and love, and relationship with God, that I have grown so much. It's so encouraging, and effortless it seemed. Even though there were times when I had struggled, wrestled, brooded, cried, denied,.. it was all necessary for me to grow into who I am now. And the more I struggled, and the more I lower myself in the face of correction, and the more time I spend going over the basics, going back to God, weeping, crying, laughing, worshipping, soaking (sleeping!), and lately.. dancing.. the closer I get to who God is making me into.

What I realised these last few months is that most people reach a comfortable place in adulthood, and they stay there and defend their mountain. But if we just humble ourselves, and keep breaking habits, keep open minded, open hearted, open handed.. God can bless us so much more. Every time when He breaks our pride at our request, every time He builds us up from the pieces, He adds to us. He shows us a better way. He gives us life. Love. Peace. Joy. Humility. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is the beginning of a fulfilled life.

I've also started to do a media fast. I stopped watching anything that doesn't come with Jesus. That grew to no random youtube videos, no games, no time spent without God, and it's just been really awesome. And to top it off, God brought me to a new place in freedom. Freedom in worship with expression, aka dancing. I have little dancing background, but I can't hold still, I have to move when I worship.. I just have to! It's been super awesome! And that's mostly it.. oh yeah, and I also turned down a very good earthly offer that paid a competitive salary and share options in a very successful startup, in favour of an uncertain future with God. So I'm excited, I don't know what will come, but I intend to work for the glory of the Lord and noone else.

And finally, I'd like to wrap up with a photo of me dancing with angels at a Bethel Worship Night. =) Love you guys, and blessings in Jesus' Name!

Learning about Prayer

Hi family, it's been a while since I posted. As you would expect, I've been seeking God in prayer and had been seeking to encourage and bless my fellow Christians with prophetics. Especially, when God does seem to reveal quite a bit to me, I really wanted to peer into my friends', family's and acquaintances' lives in order to offer some insight. Though, as I journeyed towards learning more about the Prophetic Word, or dreams, visions, and knowledge that comes from God, I noticed that there are many around me who are much more prophetic than I am and yet, they have a code that they live by. They don't share prophetic knowledge as often as they receive it. So I went to learn more, and I found out a few basic rules that I need to follow:

1. You must check what you receive with the Bible.
2. You must be accountable to others. (1 Cor 14:32-33, God will correct/confirm you with other people)

And then a checklist:

All revelation must..
* be in line with Scripture
* be helpful to the receiver
* be consistent with God's heart
* produce fruit
* comes with peace in your heart, practical situation confirmation, and actual fulfilment of the received word.

Because if we randomly dish out prophetic word, there is a chance that i) it is not God's will, ii) it is not from God, iii) it is given at the wrong time and circumstance (where they are not meant to know, or will be hurt by it more than helped), and I find that final one a big issue because I have received word before that came with a sharp edge and it hurts and breaks and destroys rather than save and build up and encourage.

And if these weren't enough, I have also learnt that most prophetic word is meant for prayer. God reveals issues that are too big for you to handle, so that you can bring them back to Him and ask Him in prayer to handle them. It sounds very rhetoric, but it's true. God is going places and doing things, and He wants to take us with Him, to train us and to involve us, and that's why like a teacher or a parent, He shares bits and pieces that He wants to teach and trust you with, and let you handle those and see the change that takes place.

Now, other than the basic check list, I noticed that most prophetic people I know also have their own personal arrangement with God. It's a rule that God impresses upon them quite deeply, because God has a special purpose for each of them and wants to use them in a different way. So, I sought for a rule for the longest time.. maybe 6 months of serious, consistent prayer, and one day during worship, He gave me the rule together with a promise and an instant fulfilment/practical confirmation. His rule for me is this:

"If you want to learn how to pray and bless with prophetic insight, then you must do as I say. You must talk to noone and just pray to me, bring these issues to me, cry out to me, and trust me to do what I can do."

Then I argued, "That's cool, but aren't I supposed to be community and love and share with these people?"

He replied, "Yes. So if you really want to encourage these people, stick around, love on them, and wait till they open up and tell you themselves. Then, and only then, can you talk about the issue and what you know with them. Otherwise, just believe in me. Believe that prayer is the best thing you can do."

Instantly following my acceptance of this rule, God followed up with 2 detailed descriptions of what 2 of the people sitting near me were going through, and I knew then that God means business, because He's going to show me even more when I keep quiet and pray to Him alone.

The promise to be able to hear what He hears, see what He sees, become heartbroken over what breaks His heart, and pray just as His heart desires. That is my path right now, the Path of Prayer.

As a result, my prayer life has become richer, my heart compels to pray for more things, big worldly issues, or small day to day issues, because of His promise, and His constant fulfilment in letting me see these visions fulfilled.

Update: Loving the "Hell" out of People

Now with rejection being dealt with through Cleansing Stream, there has been several obvious byproducts or unexpected outcomes, and I'm just really excited about these times. Though I still suffer from insomnia, and it's just to the pressure that I get from my immediate situation, but God's love and God's joy forever prevails and so, I'm not suffering more than I should, if that makes any sense at all.

I only have a few assessments left before my semester is over, but the stress of wanting a bit of a summer before my summer job starts next week is what's giving me pressure at the moment. Mostly. Nevertheless, I know that life will become infinitely better as soon as I can drop these assignments, and just have a normal summer with undivided attention to 1 job, 1 family, 1 church and no part-time this or part-time that. It's always so frustrating when you're in a busy city that encourages you to be more busy than you really should be. A balance that is hard to maintain, but somehow I get by. 

One of the immediate outcomes of going through inner healing this time is that I can now deal with rejection with much more ease than I used to. I can be shouted down by people around me, and still not be too hurt by it. It's only been a week from the last session of Cleansing Stream, and I've already faced off with a few situations: i) a friend misunderstanding me and wanting to cut off all contact as a result, and ii) someone in my fellowship texting me a nightmare of criticism, and both of these occurrences have one thing in common: the person listening to the lies of the enemy. It's got rejection written all over it, and it's horrible, because even though I now know how to deal with rejection, this stuff is still hurting the other person that's involved. It's like the enemy saying "You think you've won, huh? Well, think again!" 

I'd have you know that both of these incidents have been quickly resolved, as quickly as I could manage, since it involves God directly in arranging for me to be able to speak with people who no longer want to speak with me, or no longer want to be nice. And it also involves bringing myself to a receiving state while knowing that I'll be receive a lot of hurt. But I now understand that these are indeed the works of the enemy, my friends being tormented and relationships being hurt, and people being tortured both by lies and by the horrible things that they are made to do after listening to those lies. It's not pretty, but if you're willing to take the damage, then give it God, and then take the people, and love the "hell" out of them, then there's really no fear, and there's simply just one way to deal with it, and that is through loving and knowing that it is not the person that is trying to hurt you, it's simply that when people are hurt, they tend to hurt others too. In short, "Hurt people hurt people." So once you restore the situation back to a healthy form, then the hurts stop, and the love continues.

I'm still learning, but I'm glad that everything's worked out so far. Once you realise that it's no about being right or wrong, and just about making peace and loving people, then you pretty much also realise that this is exactly what God wants for us to do, and that is to go out and find these hurt people, then to love the "hell" out of them. Cuz once your love becomes Christlike, or unconditional, "hell" or the enemy gets all iffy and flees the scene. In complete and total defeat.

Keep trying. Keep loving. Keep yourself in God's presence. 

Calling and Direction (part 2)

It was only a couple months ago, when Bob and Kimberly Johnson came to visit. The brother and sister-in-law of Bill Johnson of Bethel Church. They came to speak at the Young Adults fellowship that I belong to, and shared what God had put onto their hearts. Kimberly shared about the importance of finding God in your valleys, because it will carry you through the dark times ahead. That later inspired a vision where I had demanded for God to show me where He was when I was in my valley that week:

He not only showed me where He was, but where I was. Overlooking the valley, looking at all there is to be, sitting comfortably on His shoulders. That's Daddy for you.

They had also prayed over us and explained visions that they received for when they were "taken up to heaven to spend time with Daddy", and it was very similar to what I had experienced before, except I didn't realise that that was what it was, spending time in heaven. So that was encouraging, and needless to say, I did actually start seeing angels the week after, and here's one of the ones that joined me in worship:

But most importantly, it was Bob's sharing that revealed part of my calling to me, and answered some of the biggest questions that I've had for the better half of the year. Namely, i) why was God showering me with spiritual gifts, and ii) can I really make a difference in the world, especially with respect to human trafficking? Was that what I was supposed to be pursuing?

Bob did not come to speak to the masses. He came to speak to a selected few in a selected generation. I had heard before that the Kingdom is indeed near, and ours is a generation of harvesters, and what he came to Hong Kong to share was a confirmation to that. He started off asking if there were people in the room that seem to be showered with spiritual gifts. A ridiculous amount of it; dreams, visions, tongues, healing, all that heavenly stuff. Then he explained that it is indeed a taste of heaven, and it is meant to be there to give us encouragement, because God has a special purpose for us. We are His chosen ones, His favourite. The ones that He loves and favours so much that He's going to give us an important task. And that is to go to "hell", the darkest parts of the earth, and to minister there. He's showing us the reality of heaven and its wonders so that we can take it with us to those dark corners. This was some pretty encouraging and pretty heavy stuff. 

God's favourite, he explained, are people who respond to His love. God loves and He favours. He loves everyone the same, but He favours some more than others. And it's all to do with how we respond to that love. He gave an example of his own children. He has two from a previous marriage and two from his current marriage, and while he loves all four the same, the two from before reject his love, and thus are not able to enjoy and receive from it, and the other two choose to receive his love, and thus are able to enjoy and be blessed through that. And so, while we can all be God's children, there are some that are favoured, and those were the ones he (Bob) came to anoint for God's use.

Such a blessed couple, I am so glad to receive this, because it brought heads and tails to what I was experiencing, what I was alarmed about, and what I wasn't sure about my calling. So after this point, I kept on seeking God about what my calling is in more details, and in the weeks to come, through Justice Conference, and Cleansing Stream, and all the visions that led up to that point gave me more details and confidence into what God is really calling me to do. I'll write more about that in part 3. 

Exciting times, my friends. Exciting times. 

Season of healing

I have been attending Cleansing Stream the last 2 months, it's an inner healing ministry started by Pastor Chris Hayward. His calling is to have healthy inner healing churches in every church in the world, and twice a year for the last 10, there's been an inner healing course at my church. As a result, this season God called me to join, and I was healed of all my self-rejection. Complete restoration. Here's my testimony that I wrote to Hub and Spokes, the ministry hosting the event.

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Hi Eufemia and team =)

My name is James. I am born with Klinefelter's Syndrome, a form of higher function Autism, and have struggled with it since I was young. Physically, I have less muscle mass than normal guys, emotionally I am different due to hormonal deficit, and socially, I trip all the time because I can't sense a lot of situations. However, since I don't carry the signature Autism look, people often expect me to be normal and when things get out of hand, as they always do, I end up having to explain all over again how I am, in fact, not normal. I struggle with this on a personal level too, often times than not, I curse myself and strap myself down to be not normal and don't expect great things out of me, despite knowing God's love, knowing that I'm God's favourite, and knowing that God has great plans for me. Subconsciously and consciously, I "knew" I will never be enough. There are great people, and I'm not that. I will always be 70% normal. And words to that effect.

I came to CSM knowing that God wants me here for this season, and that God wants to help me deal with this self-rejection. I didn't know how He will do it, nor did I expect Him to completely get rid of it. For someone who relies so much on God just to be alive and just to be able to do things, I was riddled with unbelief. Anointed with so much spiritual gifting, and yet not believing in His Words for me. I regularly receive discernment, words of knowledge, visions and dreams. I mistook these as God's compensation for my disability, but now I know it's nothing like that. 

The first night of the retreat, God gave me a vision. Very artistic, very awesome. First time ever dreaming in Japanese calligraphy art. I focused on giving the issue of self-rejection, of cursing my own growth and ability, to God. And He gave me a vision of 3 images. A tsunami, a glacier, and the Sun. The tsunami stands for all the blessings that He's going to give me. The glacier is a glacier because my God is an artist and glaciers are beautiful, but what's more is that, He said He will lift me up above others, and finally, He will draw me close to Him, the Sun represents His heart. As people continued to pray, I pull out my colour pencils obediently, as God had given me something that could be drawn. I didn't know how, but I have long known that God will guide my hand. I put pencil to paper, and soon after, I had the exact image I received in my head. It was powerful, and it rebuked and rejected everything that was in my curse, instead of being 70%, He will lift me higher than others, instead of cursed, He will flood me with blessings, and instead of not reaching spiritual heights, He will draw me closest to Him. It was encouraging, but I have seen visions before, and it still felt like nothing much will happen during retreat. The first night wasn't very eventful, and I was going to be tired the next day. I did not expect breakthrough.

The next day went quietly, I slept and dosed off as I had expected, and tried my best to retain what I listened to, and was not completely sure about it all, but felt a prompting to go up and share, and to encourage those that had served to help us throughout the retreat at the end. I had a picture after all. Somehow, it didn't turn out that way. Half way through sharing, God reminded me. He always keeps His promises. So I repeated what He said. He made me these promises, and He always keep His promises. And thus, the wonderful testimony and reminder that people seem to have given me glory for, but I was too excited to care about that, because my own breakthrough and revelation had only happened 2 seconds before everyone else's. 

Thank you so much, Hub & Spokes! Eufemia spoke about raising a generation of harvesters, and God had been speaking to me about harvesting this entire year, coaching, prepping, healing, encouraging, growing. This is the highlight so far, but I expect God to be carrying me up a glacier, and we are only one tenth of the way. Keep in touch, I will definitely be expecting really really awesome things in the future. I am available to make a video of my testimony or any other form that you'd like. Feel free to use this in any way. I will be interested in becoming an intercessor or anointer in the future. Please let me know how to apply for those.

Blessings,

James

PS. Here's the sketch. =)