Free Will

Often as a Christian, I am asked “How does a God that has a plan for you factor in free will?” and I wouldn’t know the answer to that, but today, as I was contemplating something else, the answer donned on me.

Currently, I am in the process of job hunting, and as you would expect, I am “leaving much of it up to God”. Now how does one go about doing that? Personally, I have sought God’s will for me over the years, and I know it is to provide the best education for the least privileged, and it’s been a desire that He’s put on my heart for quite some time. So I would do my best in doing my job search and application process, guided by this desire. And then, when I receive offers, I will pray about it, and if there is peace in my heart at the end of the praying process, I would accept the offer.

This is pretty much the process I take when making every life decision, for example, what type of girl would I date, whether to date at all, where should I go to study, etc. At different times, God gives us a different desire to guide us through life. You can fight this desire and choose to do things your way, but  Scripture has promised, only those who are willing to listen will hear. (Mark 4:9) So, if you persist in choosing your own path, you will gradually hear less of God’s voice, and hence lose the desire to do things His way. But He’ll be there when you choose to come back.

In essence, God’s will and free will work together under 3 premises:

1. He gives you a desire to do what He knows is good for you.

2. He allows your choice in the matter, and allows preferences.

3. He does not force your hand, as He does not micro-manage (with the exception of when you’ve asked for intervention)

What’s amazing is the simplicity of the matter. By giving us a grand, persistent desire to do good, He doesn’t need to micromanage, and no matter what we choose in response to this desire would be good enough for Him to work with. This desire is as strong and weak as we allow it to be, and we have complete free will to desire the opposite of what He desires.

I am still working out the implications of this in my life, but I am fully confident to see where this desire leads me, with peace knowing that I won’t accidentally step off the path if I’m not careful. 

How prayers work

When miracles happen, I love tracing back to when I first prayed for them, and see how God works with prayers. Often times, I find that the time that God started working on it is even before I got the idea to pray for it, and the answer tends to come in such a way that makes me think that He said "Yes" to every single prayer I made on the subject, and with each the blessing multiplied. 

Which is why when you look at prayer on the macro-scale, everything you see happening in ministry now is rolled back to prayers being made 50-100 years ago, and it’s just starting to take effect. And the extent of His planning and careful ministry is incredible to make it all work. Starting with the desires that He puts in our hearts, to the prayers that we pray and the visions that He calls to us to intercede with, to the faith that we gain as we watch Him fulfil His promises. 

This is why, when people ask me “Why is God not putting me into the field right now?” that I can calmly say to them, “Be still and know that [He] is God. He has an extensive plan for each and every one of us, and while we are picking up the skills for Him to fully use us in ministry, there are people that He has already prepared going the ways that our desires are bursting towards. We will, in turn, continue that wave, but at His will, in His ways, at His timing.”

Calling and Direction (part 3)

God has a way of lining up my past, and my mistakes and regrets with His calling for me in the future. He's just redeeming every part of my life as we go along, and it's the beauty of having a loving and omniscient God.

One of the biggest mistakes that I feel that I've done in my past is something that led me to fall away from God altogether, and that was the time that I went on my own power to serve at a Christian home for the differently abled, namely the reason I had started this blog in the first place. Funny how things come around, and how He works. I can just laugh over all the salvage that He has done in my life. All those times where I went on a limb and did something I would regret for as long as I live. So in my memory of hurt, I had come on my own terms, served on my own strength, dabbled in work politics and work romance which led to my demise and early dismissal. Then it led to cohabitation and my leaving my faith altogether. If there was ever a place to use the words "crash and burn", this was it.

Well, I've come to healing over this whole episode this week, as I was led back to visit under unexpected circumstances. And now that I have prayed for healing, cutting ties, and had grown over these last few years, I can see what a blessing this place is to me. It modelled everything I know and believe in in terms of working in ministry, and everything I would want for what I am called to do in the future. It is my belief that God is calling me to set up a shelter/school somewhere and serve in providing for, loving, protecting and teaching children in bad places. And in view of this task, I had always wondered where I would go to learn all the logistics of doing so, since my training is mostly in teaching.

And so the solution is simple. I would come back to this home for a second chance, and I would serve and learn there whenever I can over the next few years. But this time, on God's strength, at God's time, in God's way. This will be a blessing, I just know it!

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Praise the LORD, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD. - Psalm 117

Dreams, Dialogue & stewardship

Being secure in identity can sometimes lead you in the wrong direction. I wouldn't say wrong, but not right at the time. Lately, it led me to think that "maybe its time to meet someone". So I started meeting people from other churches with the intent of finding someone "special". Long story short, God sent some very clear messages about that, and redirected me once more to the gift of singleness. Which, I gladly take, just needed that extra confirmation that "it's not time yet, so focus". The message came in two prophetic exercises that I was doing in a course called The Art of Hearing God and in a very vivid dream. The two impressions I received through separate people were a stop sign and a red light.

The dream was so vivid that I woke up crying my eyes out this morning, and it was about buying a dog for charity. One of my closest friends tried everything her power to make me buy this dog, because she's crazy about dogs, and this was for a good cause. And, no matter how hard I tried to not get the dog, I ended up getting it, and it was the worst feeling in the world. It wasn't because I didn't want a dog, it was just because it was the wrong dog. I wanted the large breed poodle, and my friend forced me to get an Old English Sheepdog! And the whole process of how she did everything possible to make it happen was a frame-for-frame mimicry of what I have been doing to find a girlfriend, including all the reasoning involved, and as clear as day, the message was "it'll all end in tears". What a horrible friend, right? No, she's a nice gal in real life, it's just the dream depiction that made her horrible.

So God's message came with other revelation. I am in my early 30s, and while I had taken a participant role in the young adults community here at the Vine for a while, God was prompting me to be more. 1 Cor 13:11 comes to mind, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." I have reached the end of my 20s, and I have experienced what it was like, and it's time to look after those who are just entering theirs. Which comes very natural to me, so I have no problems with being intentional about it, and with taking care of community, but it does spell out some changes in attitude and perspective within my own life. A call to no longer reason like a child and to make defining choices about life. For example, I have recently decided to choose joy and life, over pain and suffering as the focus of each day. It was very natural to not want to be happy or motivated when you're constantly under pain, but making this choice now releases me to live despite of pain. A while ago this would not have been possible. So some personal growth is happening, and that is good.

I mentioned that God has been teaching me about prayer, and that He had given me a rule on when I can share about what He speaks to me about, and that was only if a person is already telling me about it. At first, it was difficult, because I was always in a hurry to "use the gift" but I was definitely using it the wrong way. Running off to prove myself useful after hearing the first words. The sort of mistake every intern or apprentice makes, right? Well, after a few months now, it's become a good routine where I just slowly listen, and ask God for clarity every now and then, and in all its ways, it's become an actual Dialogue with God. Which is really amazing, especially since God is answering all my questions, but at His pace and His own timing. Generally, He's very generous with the details when He speaks about others, because He wants my participation, He wants to partner with me in prayerful intercession. It's a new stage of spirituality and I'm loving it. Just to be by His side, no need to rush off, and listen, and respond, ask questions, and listen some more. I feel like I'm at the temple and just listening to my rabbi like any other. It's a new, exciting and yet very calm and wonderful experience. I have learnt much more about practicing my spiritual gifting in this way. On top of which, I've been given the opportunity to finally take the Art of Hearing God course, and it's so rich in helpful information that I need to be taking it more than once. Its basically a course on how to use our gifts for good and not end up hurting and alienating our people. It's a 3-day course, I am still processing it, so I may be back with more insights later.

And that's mostly it. I am job hunting at the moment, looking for opportunities in full-time teaching, or full-time learning since I will be learning for the sake of my calling.

Much love, and blessings.

James

I've also had a good lesson on stewardship recently, and it's simply this: Save so that I can bless. The privilege to bless far outshines the privilege to spend on oneself. So, budget, then wait for a chance to bless. There will be plenty.

Dance!

When God celebrates over us, He sings and dances in heaven. When we celebrate here on earth, we sometimes tap our feet, jump with joy, or wave our fists in the air. It's all the same, we are made to experience Joy and we are made to Sing, and we are made for Dancing.

From when I was healed of my self-rejection, and self-induced shame, I was freed to dance. And though it took a long time to come out of my shell, I had come to realise that God is pleased with my dancing. It's one thing to celebrate something as big as redemption, salvation, forgiveness, and everlasting love, by standing with one or two hands held up, and another thing altogether to do what we are made for, and that is dancing.

Just so you know. I have labored 3 hard years trying to learn dancing, much shorter than the years I tried to learn to clap to the beat or to sing in tune. I don't have what the world calls "musical talent" because I can't keep a beat, and I can't keep a tune. So what then, do I call dancing? It's mostly just moving the way your body demands to move when it is excited, full of joy and feeling the music. It doesn't have to have waves, steps, popping, specific styles and cultures, no. It doesn't have to please the physical eye. We aren't worshipping one another. If anyone is looking at you during worship, they're looking at the wrong place! No, dancing is just an extension to singing, and it is just what God wants to see in His people. You simply cannot stand in a pew and "celebrate" the Risen King! The second you get into it, your knee will surely hit the pew in front of you, and you will stop short in your celebration. If possible, find a nice quiet space, and just dance!

It doesn't have to be "hot", or "sassy", or anything.. simply put, I'm 100% sure that God has His goofy moments too, and when we go up to see Him, He will surely enjoy dancing with those of us who "cannot dance" in the way that the world expects to see, because our focus isn't on the world. It is on Him!

So I challenge you, brothers and sisters. Don't live up to the world's expectations. Don't judge yourself or reject yourself based on what you think is "appropriate". Think hard on how a child would act upon anticipating Daddy's return. Or simply, watch this video of a real baby waiting for Daddy, and doing a happy dance when he sees Daddy pull into the driveway.

Cuz worship is now. And worship is our audition for our dance in Heaven. So get with it =P And yes, it's thrice as satisfying to shake off the judgement and rejection, and dance than not.

REND the heavens 2015

Last night was the end of the REND Worship Conference 2015. And Eddie Ma came and delivered God’s message on what it means to be radical, and why we worship.

I’m still in awe of what has been said and what has been given to me. He came calling, just like Bob and Kimberley Johnson before him, and Philemon Choi before them. “Young men’s visions will fulfil old men’s dreams before they end.” he said. I believe him, because God gave them big dreams, and he gives us, this generation, glorious visions.

So was it a calling? Maybe. For me, it was a timely reminder of what Radical Christianity is about. Real Christianity. Lifestyle Christianity. However you call it. The spiritual warfront. “How can a few radical guys from the dark end of the world strike fear into the heart of the world? The answer is, we are not radical enough. If we responded to God with the same radicality, we would be fulfilling the end time prophecies now.” If we read in Revelations, Christians raise up and go to the ends of the earth, sharing about God fearlessly, with the truth of God’s promises in their eyes and their hearts. That is because they have asked to see and hear and know God’s promises fulfilled, and with that reality in their hearts, they can stand strong against all atrocities. Nothing can stand against our God, whom shall we fear if He is our King?

We are in the end times already. The war has already started. The enemy is gathering troops. If we see this as a war, we can clearly predict what is going to happen very soon. The world is already in chaos. It’s time, brothers and sisters. It’s time to pick up our cross and follow Him. It’s time to go out, soldiers of the Cross, and fulfil what we are called to do.

What are we called to do? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and might. Love your neighbor as yourself. We have always been called to fight darkness with Love, and Love is the only way. What is a radical lover? Eddie Ma says a radical lover stops at nothing to love. I know you are radical, but are you radical in everything that you do? Are you a radical lover of God and of people? Are you radical enough? To die to the cross every time you do anything. Radical in your singing, radical in your dancing, radical in your tithing, radical in your loving. What would it look like if you were to sing as if you were to die for Jesus? What would it look like if you were to give as if you were to die for Jesus? What would it look like if you were to love as if you were to die for Jesus? Is that what you are doing now?

Raise up, my brothers and sisters. It’s time. It’s time to be radical again. The world won’t last, but His love will. And His will. So fix your eyes on Him, and not on this world. Fix your eyes on His promises fulfilled and not on the lies of the enemy. Fix your eyes on how to live radically as a Son and Daughter of God, and not as a son and daughter of this world.

Abide by heavenly rules, and not be blinded anymore. Choose. Choose to live for God, or to live without God. There is no middle ground anymore. If you hear, and understand, you need to make that choice now. The cost is great, living for Jesus. But the cost is even greater, living for the world. Which side will you be on? You have the will to choose, you have freewill. One thing that God made sure to give us. Even when the enemy makes every attempt to tell us that we don’t, we do. So, use it. Make your choice.

God is Always Talking

Lately, God has been teaching me a new way of praying for others and it's really cool. He urges me to not speak at all, until He shows me in my heart a vision and clarify it to where I can speak of it. And so, I proceeded to pray out of faith for those around me, and needless to say, He has delivered every single time, something that is strongly applicable through visions of beans, saplings, and even tissue. It's amazing how it works!

And just today, I've noticed a pattern. A lot of the time when I am praying, I would thank God for love and for words and state that I will open up for the Holy Spirit to tell me what to say, and even as I was saying these, the Holy Spirit has already placed an image in my heart, and it's amazing as I seek to unfold it. I realised that it is very true. People say that God is speaking all the time, and it's a matter of learning to listen. Yes indeed! He is so eager to speak that He runs ahead and starts speaking out of excitement and love for us, much like when your best friend hits on a topic of great interest to you, you'd shoot forward too.

And so continues my journey to learn more about visions and prayers...

Thanks for reading.