Fulfilment of prophecy

Remember that vision I had in March or so, where I was a sunflower standing near a goalpost, and that was God saying that I would grow to become like those spiritual giants in my fellowship? Well, it's happening right now. I was reflecting on some surprising findings about my growth this year, when I realised "Hey, didn't I have a vision about this before?"

And, I have a new friend to thank for that. I showed her my blog, and the first thing she responded was, "I'm sorry about your condition." I was.. pretty shocked, because as far as I knew, I've been pretty blessed and I've been opened about it. And so.. our conversation went like this:

Her: I'm sorry about your condition.
Me: Huh? What condition?
Her: You know.. the condition that you wrote about?
Me: I have a condition?!
Her: Autism.
Me: Ohhh.. yeah..

And I realised then, and much more these last few days, that.. in fact, I have lived like I had no condition at all. God had been so much of a blessing, and so beautifully awesome that I no longer felt disadvantaged, underprivileged, incomplete.. I felt the opposite. I felt chosen, loved, cherished, blessed upon blessed.. And not only that, I don't feel disabled.. I had completely forgotten it. Now that I think of it, I did have something.. and I did struggle so much with it, but God has been so faithful.. so faithful that I have forgotten how it was like. Can you imagine?

I have a friend who used to be an orphan, and just by looking at her, and the love that God pours down on her, you'd never know, because even she does not feel orphaned. He is Father to orphans, be it physical, emotional, psychological, or spiritual. He is Healer to the sick; again, physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. There is nothing He can't complete. He completes us.

So, then seeing that I've come so far, that I've been so constantly fulfilled and filled with joy, that I don't even remember being broken and disadvantaged, I looked for other changes.. and there they were, I realised that people introduce newcomers in our fellowship to me, and I used to think it was just people trying to connect new people to regulars, but it's become more than that. People actually feel loved and welcomed when they spend their first evening with me. I didn't really think of that, I just wanted to love on people and make sure they get connected, because I know what it's like to be left out. For me, this is big because I used to be really bad with meeting new people.

Then my third discovery came nearly at the same time as this last one.. not only are new people coming my way, but other people have been coming to me for advice, comfort, encouragement, and I've slowly come to the realisation that I have taken a leap in Christ, that I have just by experiencing all the joy and love, and relationship with God, that I have grown so much. It's so encouraging, and effortless it seemed. Even though there were times when I had struggled, wrestled, brooded, cried, denied,.. it was all necessary for me to grow into who I am now. And the more I struggled, and the more I lower myself in the face of correction, and the more time I spend going over the basics, going back to God, weeping, crying, laughing, worshipping, soaking (sleeping!), and lately.. dancing.. the closer I get to who God is making me into.

What I realised these last few months is that most people reach a comfortable place in adulthood, and they stay there and defend their mountain. But if we just humble ourselves, and keep breaking habits, keep open minded, open hearted, open handed.. God can bless us so much more. Every time when He breaks our pride at our request, every time He builds us up from the pieces, He adds to us. He shows us a better way. He gives us life. Love. Peace. Joy. Humility. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is the beginning of a fulfilled life.

I've also started to do a media fast. I stopped watching anything that doesn't come with Jesus. That grew to no random youtube videos, no games, no time spent without God, and it's just been really awesome. And to top it off, God brought me to a new place in freedom. Freedom in worship with expression, aka dancing. I have little dancing background, but I can't hold still, I have to move when I worship.. I just have to! It's been super awesome! And that's mostly it.. oh yeah, and I also turned down a very good earthly offer that paid a competitive salary and share options in a very successful startup, in favour of an uncertain future with God. So I'm excited, I don't know what will come, but I intend to work for the glory of the Lord and noone else.

And finally, I'd like to wrap up with a photo of me dancing with angels at a Bethel Worship Night. =) Love you guys, and blessings in Jesus' Name!