Philia Love

The first love you learn about as a Christian is probably Agape Love, the love for all people, Christ-like love, unconditional love. But a lesser known word for love that Greeks also use is Philia, family love. It is also a word that one would use with friends that they are intimate and vulnerable to one another. And so lately, I've been learning about becoming open, honest and vulnerable in my love for those around me. With family and also with others. And it's been refreshing.

The thing is, most people have an open personality up to a limit. They let you know what they are comfortable with letting you know, and always seem to have a wall, and you can spend years at the wall and maybe never ever get inside, because inside, we're all vulnerable. But that's how misunderstandings, gossip and broken relationships come, when you can't see further than a certain point, and you start questioning, judging, losing understanding for that person.

And so, even though it might hurt initially to open up and become vulnerable to people, it won't hurt as much as not being vulnerable in the long run. Open, honest relationships help you to see, to love and to relate. That is why it's called family love, because you're more likely to have this type of honesty with those that you grew up with, that you have nothing to hide from.

And in the process of becoming more open, I find that after we grow up, we often try to build a wall around our choice of lifestyle and block important people out, people in our family even, and it's a sad choice that I have made in the past, but I've been brought to see that it doesn't help me or anyone to keep these walls, and so I'm tearing them down and investing in family, in philia again. Ultimately, family is a Gift from God, an unconditional source of love that empowers you and supports you to experience more of the world God's created and also helps you to love and live more at ease. It's evident that people with great love with their families are more joyful and have more peace. When you're not at war with someone so close, you don't lose energy in that fight every day in your heart, but rather gain every day that you are loved, and it's where it should be.

Of course, some families are harder to love, but every bit of love is a choice, and an investment, so I would encourage you to redeem and restore your relationship with your family with the love that you receive from God. It's a worthy investment, and it will help you to learn to love even more, and to be able to do even greater things once you have peace inside of your home, the very first community that God gives us, and the closest one at heart even when you don't feel it. Then you can understand even more what it means to love, and it will be a blessing to all your relationships outside the family.

As I'm also starting to take up this quest, to restore the philia in my life to which God intended it to be, I expect to gain much from it, more understanding of love, of God and of what life is all about. I can't wait. I know it will be difficult to restore, but the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is far too bright to not desire it. I want to have open, honest, loving connections with those in my family, and I sure will put in the effort to restore and build them up again. I can't wait!

Here's a prophetic picture of what I feel God is going to do with the hardened hearts and broken relationships in my life. The sword of God is going to strike down on the hardness, and we will all have breakthrough, and glory after glory. Painted by someone in the Incubator Ministries. 

Side note: I find that I might become a bit more vulnerable on here as well, since I'm being renewed and transformed in that direction. Which isn't a bad thing at all.