A meditating start to October

Dear friends,

I've been blessed with a flu-cold medley for the past three days, and had been given sick leave to spend resting in my room here at the orphanage. I say blessed because this leave gave me plenty of time to rest, read and meditate. During the first day of my sickness, though painfully slowly, I managed to tidy and clean my room and put it back into a healthy living environment. I also cleaned air by opening windows and turning on the fan, instead of the air conditioning, and picking a few tricks off google, I found that candles burn away all the smells in the room too, so I quickly went and bought some. I kept my windows open through the night as well, the trade-off was a few mosquito bites, but having a well ventilated room was more important. I slept most of that day.

The second day of sick leave, my sore throat worsened, but having slept most of the day before, I spent most of this day reading and drinking water. I drank 10 litres of water by the end of the day, and the sore throat didn't improved a single bit, but the flu I felt in the morning had been flushed from my system, which was good. So as a final attempt to flush the sore throat out, at 2am, I decided to rinse my throat thoroughly with a glass of salt water every two hours until it's gone. Miraculously after 4 rinses, and some appropriate cough drops, the pain in my throat started to cease.

And today, I'm still drinking, and rinsing, and the situation is improving steadily. Which is good. Now along with cleaning my room, and cleansing my system, I decided to fast, which made meditation a really good idea. I've learnt from previous experience that fasting really clears your mind and allow you to think of much more than just food, and in this case, when my throat is so sore, food was the last thing to come to my mind.

These last few days, and for the past several weeks, I've been praying and thinking about my future. And through several opportunities to witness in the past month, God seems to be trying to tell me something. My thoughts keep drifting back to the words of a visitor earlier this year, So Kam Mui, Sue. She told me that God had specifically told her to scold me for serving here, and that I didn't belong in a place like this. Her emphasis on this made me plainly mad when I myself have received confirmation from God, telling me that He wants me here this year. And yet, despite this difference of opinion, I sometimes wonder, if I would remember her words at all, if she hadn't been so forceful about it. Some of what she said had started to resonate in my mind these past few days, despite my still knowing that this commitment is God-given, I think her communication was also God-given.

She had said that her, with disabilities, and learning handicap, had been sent from God to serve here during her time, and that was meant to be, but me, put into this world, at this time, with this intellect, had no place in a lonely orphanage on the side of the road, doing work that had no use for someone like me at my age. It's work suited for much older people, that required less intellect. That everyone else had a reason to be here, but me.

Reflecting upon this now, I think she's quite right. Even so, I've committed to serve here for a year, and this commitment is still quite sound for me. I'm learning a lot about commitment, service, humility, patience, and love just by serving here, and through my reading, I'm learning a lot about Christ and about witnessing. So I feel that this is where I'm meant to be for this year. But my plans for next year remain uncertain. So I'll keep praying about that. Perhaps the Lord will reveal all these things to me in due time. In the meantime, I'm just thankful for all that He's taught me so far, and thankful for being led to become a better witness for His kingdom and His glory.

So dear friends, do continue to pray for my health, my witness, my service, my discipleship and my future. Thank you.

In Christ,

James